The Gift of Grandchildren

To have children who are parents is a gift of grace that surpasses all others. Only then do we see our values in action as they struggle with the stresses of balancing faith, family, friends and bread winning. As our third grandchild reaches her teen years today, I am awed by what fine young women and man the children of my children seem to be becoming.

It is humbling to watch and try not to worry or interfere. These are the times when prayer and patience can lead to the peace that is necessary for being truly present for the young families. My prayer is that I not be selfish or petty, and that I do all in my power never to take from them more than I was able to give.

The Path to Peace

Many people of my acquaintance use the terms "sympathy," "empathy," and "compassion" interchangeably. I believe that they have different meanings and applications. It seems to me that compassion is entering into, or sharing, a feeling with another; this is accompanied by a willingness to act. Empathy is the sharing of feeling with a desire to absorb some of the energy, but not to necessarily act. Sympathy is the projecting of one's own feeling on another.

If I have compassion, I too have an emotional investment in the resolution of another's problem or feelings. I will look for ways to share the other's burden. When I empathize, I am emotionally present for the other. In sympathy, I simply acknowledge that you have a given feeling. I like to think that compassion is a sharing of the love of the Infinite in all of us; that we are all bound together by the same spark of creation. I believe that what hurts one bit of creation hurts all of us, and that what heals one soul heals a bit of all.

Many also seem to loosely use "motivation" and "manipulation." My yardstick for these terms is how they are used to effect the one who is being led to act. If I encourage action of another with selfish motives on my part, that is manipulation. If I support action for the betterment of others, that is motivation.

What does all this have to do with faith? I believe that to become one again in Eternity, we must seek to be more compassionate, even of those we feel are our enemies. We must also ask ourselves if our leaders are acting as motivating forces or simply manipulating us for their own selfish ends.

Compassion is the only known path to peace. The Buddha, Abraham, Moses, The Christ all sought to motivate their followers to live lives of compassion in order to promote community (unity with others) -- "on earth as it is in Heaven."

Compassionate Conflict Resolution

We, as animals, have two natural responses to conflict, fight and flight. As humans, we have another option, which is coping. But who among us is taught a system of conflict resolution? To be fully human we must retrain ourselves to seek peaceful co-existence.

What good does it do us to take all conflict to the courts where the opponents have to swear on a book that may or may not be sacred to the swearer? We claim to be a predominantly Judeo-Christian country, with the greatest emphasis on being Christian. I'd like to see a new vocation come out of all this claiming of Christianity in our country.

We could call it Compassionate Conflict Resolution. This would be a field that could intervene when folks of different faiths and value systems have issues that they want peacefully resolved. Whoever took up this profession would have to be willing to familiarize themselves with the values and belief systems that drive all parties involved in the conflict, sort of like our secretary of state must do on the world stage. The arbiter would also have to reveal to all parties the value system from which she or he hails.

We could run these "courts" sort of like the Supreme court, but with fewer "judges." Each party to the conflict could have one representative witness and an uninvolved resolution specialist would be the arbiter of the dispute. Witnesses could be called, if necessary. This, of course, entails the ability to articulate one's wants and needs. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we cared enough to do this?

If we want instruction for this system of conflict it's all laid out in the Torah, the New Testament Bible, and in the Koran. Why aren't we willing to use this system?

Jesus' Life of Love

This is the holiest season in Christianity, and one of the holiest in Judaism, when both faiths are celebrating deliverance from evil earthly forces. As a Roman Catholic child this was the season in which I was taught all about the passion of Jesus. Unfortunately, I was taught more about the big drama of his scourging and crucifixion than I was taught about his passion for his people while walked the earth in the flesh.

I think we miss the point; the true sacrifice isn't the death, it's the heroism that leads to that death that is the greatest sacrifice. Many people are willing to put themselves in harm's way for those they love. Look at the sacrifices truly loving parents, caregivers, teachers, health care professionals, and members of the armed forces make in the line of duty. But to live a full life out among all the sin without once falling? How many of our lives would withstand the scrutiny that Jesus' life continues to command? The most remarkable thing about Jesus, in my opinion, was his example of a loving, sinless life on the same planet that I inhabit.

I believe that Jesus wanted us to realize that we are all God's children; that salvation is a choice, not a birthright. Why else would any of us have been born? I believe that his passion for all people led him to condense the many rules in the Torah and Old Testament down to two -- love God and love God's children. I believe that he came to show us, by his example, the way to peace with Our Creator and of harmonious relationships with our fellow humans. That example, by design, coincides with the way of Abraham and Moses. I believe the Holy Spirit he left with us is the "God" spark in each of us and in all creation.

I believe that we humans were still needing outward signs of human sacrifice to God, so Jesus was willing to be our scapegoat. I believe that what Jesus really wants us to take away from his life and death is the joy that comes with sharing our loving lives with others, The Spirit of Loving Unity.This Easter, I think I'll observe the stations of all my spiritual ancestors' lives.

Herds and Humans

Our animal instincts are much too strong
For us to ignore our need for spiritual
Support groups for very long.

This is what I think churches are meant to be.
But aren't they often simply
Strengthening the herd mentality?

Instead of projecting acceptance out to others
They close their rule-bound ranks
Around their sisters and brothers.

Is this because they are afraid of being infected
By the ways of outside others
That their group has rejected?

It seems that mission work is so much more effective
Than all the Sunday sermons
And the judgmental invective.

When you feed a hungry person or hold a fearful hand
This imparts the love
That makes an animal human.

Preparing For Purity

Look very closely at the light, and it will begin to draw you in.
When we are seeking a way out of darkness, this is how to begin.
Even a tiny pinpoint of light, seen in the eyes of a child,
Can be enough to give us hope for just a little while.
The uncorrupted child's soul is a pure pearl of light,
The earthly evidence of what, in creation, is right.
But we must prepare ourselves to protect their purity,
So that we too may experience the inner light they see.

But we don't prepare our people to be present in these moments;
We bring babies into isolation, without the tribes to which they're sent.
We live from task to task, exhausting our emotional resources,
Leaving our children's souls to all manner of evil forces.
At least, we now have daddies who hold their babies most dear,
Making their claims on their babies' hearts and minds clear.
But where are the councils of elders with time on their hands,
Helping to pass on the values that true humanity demands?

Synchronizing Our Spirits

I've read for many years about rites and rituals of religions that are supposed to take us closer to God. It seems that most of these were developed by people seeking to get away from their everyday lives on earth. While this may work for some, for short periods of time, I don't think it's the best way to long-lasting lightening of the load of life. When we wake up, there are still dirty dishes to be done, but the egg is stuck more firmly to the plate.

Many societies and religions solve this problem by creating the illusion that there are some who are simply meant to be closer to God and bring their visions down to those who do the dirty work. Those not gifted with enough inner light are encouraged to use all manner of psychoactive substance to "reach a higher plane", or to lose themselves in rituals that deaden the awareness of what's going on around them. While this may be great as a break from mundane matters, it isn't meant to be a lifestyle. And it sure isn't conducive to the training of children "in the way they should go."

One of the most beautiful rituals I've ever witnessed is the putting of a fussy baby to sleep. When done with love, it is pure spirituality in action. The serenity of the adult is imparted to the baby to the point where the baby feels so safe that his or her breathing synchronizes with the soother. It is like that with loving arms; they impart some of oneself to the other. With all the fear in the world, maybe it's time we reinstate rituals of spending snuggle time together. Believe in the bumper sticker, "Hugs, not drugs."