Adolescent Anarchy and Authority

We are all adolescents until we understand that our salvation is in being fully functioning humans, each with a Divine Spark. We set up situations in our lives to test the boundaries of those who say they care for us, attempting to have them reject us so that we can feel in control. We will often escalate our destructive and subversive behaviors in an effort to sever the loving relationship, rather than continue in the pain of our own vulnerability. The community turning away from our errant actions is not always the same as rejecting us as people. The person seeking others' answers is not the same as rejection of the community.

Sometimes, the only way to grow is to walk away. In healthy communities, this is seen as a way to obtain new strengths to bring back to the fold. In unhealthy communities, this is seen as a rejection of the whole, and the community will sever the relationship with us. Where there is mutual vulnerability, trust, and respect, there is hope for healing and wholeness.

Whether we like it or not, we are all dependent on others for different parts of ourselves to reach their fullness. In the old models of relationships, we were taught that the authority figures have no need for the strengths of those over whom they have authority. We were also taught that the oldest child is the heir to whom all the family strengths and responsibilities are passed, and that the job of the oldest is to equitably apportion the benefits of the family. This left all in the community emotionally and relationally crippled.

All real authority is actually derived from the willingness of the governed to accept leadership, and the leadership's willingness and ability to teach by example and support of the learning process. Anarchy ensues when authority is divided against itself, which causes collapse of community. The lack of growth when only one type of strength is honored causes stagnation, which is a form of slow death.

In all of creation, there is a strength that can only come from hybridization. The strength of the community is in the sum of its parts. In families, as in all communities, the strengths and weaknesses of all must be recognized and honored. Until we are all willing to be strong, vulnerable, and fair, alternating absolute authority and anarchy seems to be the scene that plays out since Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve walked away from a partnership with Divinity. Why are we still doing the same? What part of being made in the image and likeness of The Divine are we still not understanding?

How sad it is when absolute authority, destruction, and subversion are the only individual strengths a society is willing to recognize or exercise!

Relay Race of Life

I am in awe of The Almighty, but I don't feel afraid.
I know that there are others helping me handle
The path to Eternity that has been laid.

I'm only one runner in the relay race of life.
I can hand the baton over to another
When I've handled my share of strife.

There were many runners who came before me,
They ran a straighter and truer path,
And were faster than I could ever be.

It was my job to take the baton given
And run to the best of my ability
Whether or not I make it to Heaven.

But, I take comfort in firmly believing
We are all part of the same creation;
Some seeds of salvation are what I'm leaving.

Fathers and Faithfulness

I know it is Father's Day in America, so I sit contemplating my father and The Father of my father's faith. My husband spends the day emulating his father while I spend the day missing mine. I'd like to have had the chance to discuss faith and fathers with him.

We were taught that God is our Father and that we were to fear Our Father and our fathers. Who can blame our dads for their forms of discipline when they were led to believe that they were to strike fear in the hearts of their wives and children in order to more closely come to their God and lead their children to salvation. Those who quaked at the thought of Dad's wrath were considered saved, and were at least spared the rod. Those who refused to bow down to the behaviors of the master were severely punished, and often banished from our own "Garden of Eden."

Leading with love and self-discipline is not what the generations after Adam and Eve understood. They firmly believed that fear was sufficient to keep people in their folds. No matter how much example there has been to the contrary, we still seem to believe that varying degrees of punishment or permissiveness are the same as parenting.

How is it that, with all our advanced ability to think and make informed decisions, we seem to be less observant of our ways of procreation and parenting than the lowest animals. Like other animals, before we learn words, we observe and mimic behaviors. So many babies are exposed to their parents' wrath before they can even walk. Is it any wonder that we humans continue to act on fear, as animals that have only two modes of survival: fight and flight?

Maybe it's time that we revisit maternal love that conceives, gestates, and bonds in order to mold an image of what is experienced. In order to be faithful as a father, one must truly meld with the mother before producing progeny. And then they must lead with love and right living. Fear doesn't foster friendship; nor does it nourish family faith. Faithfulness fosters faith.

Higher Power and Peace

When we speak of a higher power, we must understand that The Higher Power is manifest in the whole of creation, and that we must find a way to function for the good of the whole in order to feel ourselves as part of this Eternal Entity. All entities that derive their power through instilling or encouraging fear, or promoting absolute authority of any one person, are not part of the network of Eternal Inclusion that is the path back to Perfection.

If we are indeed the branches on a Universal Vine, we must be fed by a strong, healthy root system in order to thrive and produce good fruit. Until we are willing to submit to something greater than ourselves, we are doomed to live destructive lives. For some, that greater something is their family; for others, it is their church; for still others, it is their AA group, or their military unit, or their neighbors, or their workplace.

The sacred scriptures and stories of all ages have attempted to produce a path back to Perfect Peace. The Eternal Force that embodies all of creation goes by many names. Some refer to this Spirit of Unity as The Great Spirit, some Yahweh, some God, some Jesus, some The Holy Spirit, some a Higher Power. We seem to all be seeking the same thing: a sense of belonging to a protective, peaceful Whole.

My children were my reason for attaching myself to something outside of myself. Now that they are grown, they and their families have attached themselves to networks of others that will help them in their journeys. Those who continue to run from sharing their trues selves with family and friends find themselves in their own dark dungeons in their souls. This is no way to bring up babies; nor is it a way to produce peace.

I believe that the sacred is still being spoken and written, and that we must open ourselves to sharing our own sacred stories.

Making Peace with Our Parents

It seems to be universal that children who have lost a parent, whether to death, divorce, or abandonment, forever feel that they themselves are deficient in some way. Maybe we can't fully become who we are meant to be without wrestling with our elders until we come to an equilibrium of abilities.

Having a steady light of home life is a safety net for spiritual seekers. The important thing seems to be that the elders stay steadfastly on their own paths, at the same time as they allow exploration and growth in their dependents. The keepers of the flame must allow the weary wanderers a place around the fire, but must keep them from infecting the innocent with anarchy.

At fourteen, I effectively lost my parents. My father had come out of a two-year-long depression as a man I no longer knew, acting the part of a naughty teenager when what our large family of soon-to-be teens needed was a patriarch. My mother refused to face that fact that Daddy and the leaders to whom she had entrusted her children were bringing all manner of sin to her home and her progeny.

This all happened at the same time as our country and our church were turning away from all our old rules in the 1960s. We had no more societal norms. Irresponsible sex, drugs, and anarchy became the new norm in our home, our church, and our country.

My mother and I began a very tumultuous relationship based on her belief that women were to be apparently submissive to men, at the same time as we were encouraged to be secretly subversive. I was never one to be secretly anything, so I often found myself feeling like the child announcing, "The emperor has no clothes!"

I seemed to see it as a way to affect change that I thought others would want, but this did not play out in my experience. How is one to know when others are whispering and pointing out the problem that they are all in on a secret that they pretend nobody else knows? I became the family outcast in my mother's eyes, while to my daddy, I became another of his flirtations with frivolous females.

I have since asked myself whether we are to go along with the community in an effort to keep peace, or is it our duty to walk our own path when the community seems to be blinded by their traditions and fear of truth and the accompanying change? At what point are we justified in saying that we see the same mistakes being repeated, no matter how uncomfortable this may make those around us?

Change made too rapidly, and without understanding and honoring the past, is doomed to create more harm than lasting good. Honoring does not mean repeating the past; it simply means studying it to obtain an understanding of what works and what doesn't work in the promotion of the eternal quest for a community of social justice. Social justice, it seems to me, depends on cooperation of all of creation, with an orderly way to affect and incorporate change.

Shortly before my mother died, she wrote to me that I had a "gift" for "challenging." I received her note after her death. Had we finally come to an acceptance of each other as we are? Was she granting me her permission to openly challenge that which she had been alternately submitting to and subverting? Can the fighting factions inside my soul finally make peace with each other?

Discipline and Discipleship

Our father battered us
Our mother banished us;
These were the ways of their God.

Our religion, though called Christian,
Did not follow the example
Of their messiah who on this earth trod.

Discipline meant to do as they say.
There was no call for their children
To pay no attention to what they may do.

Leadership seemed to mean nothing
About showing one's own family the way,
And was bestowed only on the chosen few.

All authority was in the clergy.
Mere mortals could not be disciples
And have The Spirit simply enter their souls.

To keep all soldiers of the faith
Fighting for what the clergy deemed right
Seemed to be all of the religions' primary goals.

I have a brother-in-law who does a comedy routine about God being schizophrenic if we are to believe both the old and new testaments of the Bible. I have a soul sister who believes that God hasn't changed, but that our understanding of God evolves. Our only hope as a people seems to me to be an understanding that our story of faith did not stop evolving two thousand years ago, and that all of creation has the opportunity to experience the light of The Spirit of Wholeness (Holiness) in our individual souls.

Sinning and Secrets

The seminal stories of the Bible seem to be an allegory for the ongoing arrogance that destroys people, their progeny, and their progeny's progeny. When will we realize that we are all a community who have no permanent secrets? All action has an equal and opposite reaction, no matter how far back in time we have wished it to be different.

It seems to me that the greatest mistake we make is in trying to keep our sins secrets from those with whom we are most closely connected. Isn't that the message of the story of Adam and Eve? Wasn't the fatal problem that they attempted to hide their mistake from the provider of their paradise, rather than come clean and ask for a fresh start?

And what of Cain and Able? Wasn't the beginning of his alienation that Cain didn't ask for clarification of his own worth and that of his brother before killing his brother in a jealous rage? Instead of admitting his error, he further alienated himself from his family by denying his crime against his community. How would things have been different if Cain's elders were consulted in an atmosphere of humility, honesty, and openness to learning from those who have most investment in the community?

As a child, I tired of listening to my elders speak of the errors of others, but I rarely, if ever, heard them admit their own mistakes. The men seemed to brag about what they had done that was against the rules of our religion, while the women seemed too ashamed to talk about errors of their own pasts. Authority figures absolutely never said that they were sorry for anything they did or said, except in the privacy of the confessional.

My father would take a Saturday night bath and go to confession. He would come home beaming and announce, "Your old dad is clean inside and out." I never understood how this helped in healing the wounds he had inflicted on our family? I often hear Christians say that they have confessed their sins to their God, and that their souls are healed. How is this possible when they have wounded the community of fellow humans by their actions? Did not Jesus say that what is done to one of the parts of the his community, we also do to him, and by extension, The Almighty? Is not the overarching story of salvation, a coming back to perfect community with all of creation?

Only when we are willing to hear what has already been tried can we avoid eternal repetition of the errors of our elders. This presupposes that our elders are honest and humble enough to admit their errors and to seek to make their own amends. Only when we work for forgiveness from those we have harmed can new community commence. Only by heeding guidance from our elders who lead by their own examples can we keep community intact.