It seems to me that religious upbringing is to help define a life's mission greater than one's immediate pleasure and release at all costs from stresses of our animal instincts.
What confounds so many young women today is how to choose their life's mission. We are now faced with so many choices that were not available to our foremothers. When I was speaking to a couple of high school sophomores about their ambitions, they were very sure of their choices in professions. Upon hearing that, when I was their ages, all the women I knew were automatically expected to become wives and mothers, one of the girls replied, "I wish it was that easy." Easy? I wish.
Our educations prepared us for becoming doctors and lawyers, but acted as if becoming the co-creators of human beings and bringing them up to be moral men and women needed nothing other than a set of static rules and a stick. How foolish we were to take the path of family life so for granted.
We could never have even envisioned a book called What to Expect When You're Expecting. Even we who had never gotten a crying baby to settle down (to laugh yes, but not to settle down) were left to figure it out on our own. The closest we came to parenting advice was from Dr. Spock who believed in disciplining even small babies until they bent to our wills.
Forget about advice on life as a couple. We were told that once you married, you could never change any behavior of your man, so we simply learned to live with the resignation to that belief. And we dared not risk sex before the man "bought the cow" because we may end up at the mercy of a damning society for the support of a fatherless child. Men were taught that he way to have easy sex was to marry, even though all who have rared children know this not to be true.
Our greatest ambition for our marriages was that our husbands brought home their paychecks and didn't beat us to death. For these concessions, we were expected to accede to their sexual desires or accept their infidelity. Men had "needs," you know.
I have found some Eastern tomes on married love, but they never seem to have the lovers locked in intimate embraces that include shedding dogs and dirty diapers. I wish I could remember where I read it, but someone once pointed out to me that love is when to people are passionate about the same thing. The closest I could come to finding that quote was this one by C.S. Lewis, “What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it.” The problem is that we don't define that about which we are passionate before we pick a path for our lives and mates to accompany us on these paths.
A lot of my friends are distressed by all this unmarried sex. I'm encouraged that the young people seem to be defining the difference between animal attraction and the friendship that grows out of shared passion for something outside one's selves. I believe that, in a lot of cases, they feel pressured into adding the sexual component by the erroneous belief foisted on many generations that males and females cannot have intimate friendships without sex "happening."
Even in this age of AIDS and DNA testing, many males are still brought up to treat their bodies as tools of conquest. Semen and ova are handed off to perfect strangers, as if these are not the seeds of human beings with the potential for souls. We have made mockery of the old-fashioned belief that our bodies are temples of The Holy Spirit.
I would prefer for young people to discover if it is only their animal instincts that attract them to each other before they attempt to bring children up with a shared set of values. Only in this way can we hope for a moral, civil society instead of continuing to foster packs of hyenas competing for the sake of the conquest. My husband once said to me that he believes that the real thing that separates humans from other animals is the ability to say, "No." I believe it is our ability to redirect our animal energies.
Would I prefer that we be taught responsible ways to recognize and responsibly relieve or refocus our own sexual tensions? Yes. Do I see that happening in America in my lifetime? I wish...
Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
The Yin, the Yang ,and their Young
"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.(Proverbs 22:6)
"Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)
We must get the "mother" energy back into our concept of The Almighty in order to break the bondage of the patriarchal model for "raising a child in the way he should go." Our wrath should be reserved for what harms the vulnerable and not for what inconveniences or displeases the strong. It may not be that the Judeo-Christian scribes were wrong in the stories of what happened, but wrong in their interpretations of the events.
Perhaps it wasn't God who told Abraham to sacrifice his son, but Abraham's understanding of his god as being a god with a lust for blood sacrifice. Perhaps the "angel" who stayed Abraham's hand was his wife who pointed out the error of his interpretation of the voice of their shared Spirit.
Are there any blessings from bullying and beating of those over whom one holds the power of life and death? The reading of what Christians refer to as the Old Testament would have us believe that the Creator of Life is unable to control his children without the threat of death. How is mortal man to find his strength in the powers of persuasion that are made possible by bonding, when he is encouraged to react with rage to all displeases him?
I honestly believe that my father was attempting to follow the example of what he saw as God the Father in not "sparing the rod." Wrath was a part of his sensibility of how one is to train up children in the way they should go. He didn't kill any of us, but he certainly drew blood on more than one occasion. As a chivalrous man, he didn't believe in hitting his wife, and he did believe in protecting her, even from her own "beastly" children.
I hurt for many men raised in the traditional male manner, who they have been taught no nurturing skills, and resent any pain inflicted on their wives, even by their own children. I also grieve for the love lost to them and their children.
The expectation of my mother from all in our family was to, "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect." All mistakes were "corrected" by corporal punishment perhaps because, in my mother's mind, pain was the way to perfection. This seemed to be a result of the huge amount of emphasis put on the belief that God demanded that His Only Son suffer and die in order to make up for the sins of our ancestors which were passed down to us.
I prefer to believe that a greater gift than his suffering and death on his last day was Jesus' ability, joyfully and without sin, to live on earth, following the stringent Jewish law. Even though I'm not from the "show me" state of Missouri, I learn better by following examples. This is an example that I can attempt to follow.
We do not have a clear scriptural example of how a monogamous married couple is to comport themselves, nor does the Bible have a great deal of information on how we are to behave toward our spirited children. I have to believe that there must have been some couples' and women's accounts of dealing with family life in a moral manner. Why do we include none of these in what we accept as sacred scripture? (Paul was not married and only advocated marriage as a substitute for the fires of Satan's domain.)“I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn” (1Corinthians 7:8,9).
I'm hoping to hear more about how families of faith raise their children "in the way they should go" and comport themselves as couples. This would be sacred scripture to me.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.(Proverbs 22:6)
"Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)
We must get the "mother" energy back into our concept of The Almighty in order to break the bondage of the patriarchal model for "raising a child in the way he should go." Our wrath should be reserved for what harms the vulnerable and not for what inconveniences or displeases the strong. It may not be that the Judeo-Christian scribes were wrong in the stories of what happened, but wrong in their interpretations of the events.
Perhaps it wasn't God who told Abraham to sacrifice his son, but Abraham's understanding of his god as being a god with a lust for blood sacrifice. Perhaps the "angel" who stayed Abraham's hand was his wife who pointed out the error of his interpretation of the voice of their shared Spirit.
Are there any blessings from bullying and beating of those over whom one holds the power of life and death? The reading of what Christians refer to as the Old Testament would have us believe that the Creator of Life is unable to control his children without the threat of death. How is mortal man to find his strength in the powers of persuasion that are made possible by bonding, when he is encouraged to react with rage to all displeases him?
I honestly believe that my father was attempting to follow the example of what he saw as God the Father in not "sparing the rod." Wrath was a part of his sensibility of how one is to train up children in the way they should go. He didn't kill any of us, but he certainly drew blood on more than one occasion. As a chivalrous man, he didn't believe in hitting his wife, and he did believe in protecting her, even from her own "beastly" children.
I hurt for many men raised in the traditional male manner, who they have been taught no nurturing skills, and resent any pain inflicted on their wives, even by their own children. I also grieve for the love lost to them and their children.
The expectation of my mother from all in our family was to, "Be you therefore perfect, as also your heavenly Father is perfect." All mistakes were "corrected" by corporal punishment perhaps because, in my mother's mind, pain was the way to perfection. This seemed to be a result of the huge amount of emphasis put on the belief that God demanded that His Only Son suffer and die in order to make up for the sins of our ancestors which were passed down to us.
I prefer to believe that a greater gift than his suffering and death on his last day was Jesus' ability, joyfully and without sin, to live on earth, following the stringent Jewish law. Even though I'm not from the "show me" state of Missouri, I learn better by following examples. This is an example that I can attempt to follow.
We do not have a clear scriptural example of how a monogamous married couple is to comport themselves, nor does the Bible have a great deal of information on how we are to behave toward our spirited children. I have to believe that there must have been some couples' and women's accounts of dealing with family life in a moral manner. Why do we include none of these in what we accept as sacred scripture? (Paul was not married and only advocated marriage as a substitute for the fires of Satan's domain.)“I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn” (1Corinthians 7:8,9).
I'm hoping to hear more about how families of faith raise their children "in the way they should go" and comport themselves as couples. This would be sacred scripture to me.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thanksgiving Thoughts
On this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the blessings that I'm getting from the women (and men) of moral courage entering into dialog with me about their real-life experiences with faith and family.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Cooking and Creation
When I cook for family, I feel my mothers with me.
Every day, the kitchen is where they would be.
My mother was the oven and pressure cooker queen,
So her long absences from home wouldn't cause a scene.
Her mother used a meat grinder as a food processor;
She could sit and do this without foot and back pressure.
My daddy's mom was the neatest cook I've ever seen;
As soon as she'd spill something, she'd immediately clean.
They thought I didn't heed anything they had to say,
But I watched them as closely as a hawk watches its prey.
They didn't like my questions about what I didn't understand,
Like why rules were different for woman than for man.
I saw how with food and fun they got their points across;
For why they allowed their men to slide, I was at a loss.
Now I use some of their subtle ways of reward
To soften the minds and hearts that are hard.
I pray daily that the values that I express
Help those I love to become more, not less--
More of what they are put on earth to be,
Realizing that no one is ever completely free.
But we must appreciate every contribution
That leads to the final meal's execution.
The ancients respected the grower and the grown
Realizing that none of creation stands alone.
Every day, the kitchen is where they would be.
My mother was the oven and pressure cooker queen,
So her long absences from home wouldn't cause a scene.
Her mother used a meat grinder as a food processor;
She could sit and do this without foot and back pressure.
My daddy's mom was the neatest cook I've ever seen;
As soon as she'd spill something, she'd immediately clean.
They thought I didn't heed anything they had to say,
But I watched them as closely as a hawk watches its prey.
They didn't like my questions about what I didn't understand,
Like why rules were different for woman than for man.
I saw how with food and fun they got their points across;
For why they allowed their men to slide, I was at a loss.
Now I use some of their subtle ways of reward
To soften the minds and hearts that are hard.
I pray daily that the values that I express
Help those I love to become more, not less--
More of what they are put on earth to be,
Realizing that no one is ever completely free.
But we must appreciate every contribution
That leads to the final meal's execution.
The ancients respected the grower and the grown
Realizing that none of creation stands alone.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Pass the Potatoes, Peas, and Philosophies
A childhood friend sent me this:
“God is a synergetic experience. Science can never reveal it, philosophy can never come to it – only a poetic approach, a very passive, very loving approach, can.” Osho
I had no knowledge of Osho, but these words seem full of wisdom. Come to find out, Osho was a well-known professor of philosophy who formed his own counter-religion, ministering mostly to the wealthy who richly rewarded him for assisting them in accepting their greed as good. It seems that Osho was a proponent of responsibility only to oneself.
Another friend who writes a spiritual blog wrote these words today:
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens (Ps. 68).
The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matt. 20:28)
We all recognize that eating once in awhile is not enough to sustain our lives; we must be fed constantly in order to live. God's ministry to us is constant and on-going; He bends low to hear our cry and to meet our daily need. And if He asks us to serve Him, it is that we may imitate Him by serving his "sheep." Jesus asked Simon Peter to "feed [His] sheep." from the blog One Bird Watching by Gayle Nolan
I came to adulthood, marriage, and motherhood at the time that gurus spread across the land promoting self-fulfillment through the pursuit of pleasures, irresponsible sex, and drugs. Many of these gurus became wealthy and were apparently worshiped by their followers, even when it was obvious that the gurus were using their followers to feed their own greed. We seem to easily fall into the trap of deifying people who pretend to lift our burdens, while they are actually feeding themselves and their own egos.
Even saints are also sinners; no person is infallible. We must stop allowing those with the loudest voices and longest speeches to take over our consciousness. A truly spiritual person sets an example and then leaves their own spirit to continue to inspire us. He or she does not need the constant control of others to feel powerful.
Like a good grandmother who offers a peaceful place at her table to all who come, much of enlightenment happens when we are simply having our physical needs met. But we must be careful of those who offer easy fixes like mind altering substances and soulless sex, and feed our greed with fear of not enough to go around which leads to competition and hoarding.
A good grandmother offers assistance, but expects that the family values will be taken from her table to the hearts and minds of others. The spirit of the family is offered with the lovingly shared fruits of the labors of each member who contributed to the meal. Perhaps we should take the time to look at our own families and define what values we want to pass on as we pass the potatoes and peas.
“God is a synergetic experience. Science can never reveal it, philosophy can never come to it – only a poetic approach, a very passive, very loving approach, can.” Osho
I had no knowledge of Osho, but these words seem full of wisdom. Come to find out, Osho was a well-known professor of philosophy who formed his own counter-religion, ministering mostly to the wealthy who richly rewarded him for assisting them in accepting their greed as good. It seems that Osho was a proponent of responsibility only to oneself.
Another friend who writes a spiritual blog wrote these words today:
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens (Ps. 68).
The Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matt. 20:28)
We all recognize that eating once in awhile is not enough to sustain our lives; we must be fed constantly in order to live. God's ministry to us is constant and on-going; He bends low to hear our cry and to meet our daily need. And if He asks us to serve Him, it is that we may imitate Him by serving his "sheep." Jesus asked Simon Peter to "feed [His] sheep." from the blog One Bird Watching by Gayle Nolan
I came to adulthood, marriage, and motherhood at the time that gurus spread across the land promoting self-fulfillment through the pursuit of pleasures, irresponsible sex, and drugs. Many of these gurus became wealthy and were apparently worshiped by their followers, even when it was obvious that the gurus were using their followers to feed their own greed. We seem to easily fall into the trap of deifying people who pretend to lift our burdens, while they are actually feeding themselves and their own egos.
Even saints are also sinners; no person is infallible. We must stop allowing those with the loudest voices and longest speeches to take over our consciousness. A truly spiritual person sets an example and then leaves their own spirit to continue to inspire us. He or she does not need the constant control of others to feel powerful.
Like a good grandmother who offers a peaceful place at her table to all who come, much of enlightenment happens when we are simply having our physical needs met. But we must be careful of those who offer easy fixes like mind altering substances and soulless sex, and feed our greed with fear of not enough to go around which leads to competition and hoarding.
A good grandmother offers assistance, but expects that the family values will be taken from her table to the hearts and minds of others. The spirit of the family is offered with the lovingly shared fruits of the labors of each member who contributed to the meal. Perhaps we should take the time to look at our own families and define what values we want to pass on as we pass the potatoes and peas.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Cherished Children and the Faces of Infinity
How nice it must be to have been a cherished child so that one can relate to god as a beaming parent, so proud of his progeny! Not all children are so blessed. Many children see fear in the faces of their parents and feel it as disapproval. Some are treated as scapegoats, receiving reprimands for that which has been inflicted on the parents by others. How do we expect for the people so wounded by their examples of parenting to relate to a parental god as love?
I have no feeling of a person of god, but I nonetheless feel a seed of the Infinite Force For Good in all of creation. I do not believe that my prayers sway god's decisions, but I do believe that I can receive strength to find the positive in every situation by keeping myself open to the lessons of life. Finding the positive often takes many years and much hurt, but I continue to be open to it. I am often reminded in my openness that I must actively seek the positive and be patient. Is this the voice of The Almighty coming out of the mouths of my family and friends?
I believe it is our gift as humans to choose to nurture and expand these seeds of the soul or to extinguish the positive with our own negative energy and encouraging that of others. Sometimes sustaining this life force is as easy as a smile or a hug. And sometimes we are called to lay our lives on the line by fighting our more base animal instincts and setting an example of acceptance and empathy. We are all asked to give our lives for The Infinite Good, not by our deaths, but by the ways we live.
I have no feeling of a person of god, but I nonetheless feel a seed of the Infinite Force For Good in all of creation. I do not believe that my prayers sway god's decisions, but I do believe that I can receive strength to find the positive in every situation by keeping myself open to the lessons of life. Finding the positive often takes many years and much hurt, but I continue to be open to it. I am often reminded in my openness that I must actively seek the positive and be patient. Is this the voice of The Almighty coming out of the mouths of my family and friends?
I believe it is our gift as humans to choose to nurture and expand these seeds of the soul or to extinguish the positive with our own negative energy and encouraging that of others. Sometimes sustaining this life force is as easy as a smile or a hug. And sometimes we are called to lay our lives on the line by fighting our more base animal instincts and setting an example of acceptance and empathy. We are all asked to give our lives for The Infinite Good, not by our deaths, but by the ways we live.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Personal Paths to Positive Power
As a Roman Catholic child, I was exposed to a practice that was common, recitation of litanies in which God was called by many names. It is true that many of those names included being male, and a fearsome male, at that. Here are some examples:
"Divine Essence, one true God,
Spirit of truth and wisdom,
Spirit of holiness and justice,
Spirit of understanding and counsel,
Spirit of love and joy,
Spirit of peace and patience,
Spirit of longanimity and meekness,
Spirit of benignity and goodness,
Love substantial of the Father and the Son,
Love and life of saintly souls,
Fire ever burning,
Living water to quench the thirst of hearts,"
"God the Father of Heaven,
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
God the Holy Ghost,
Holy Trinity, One God,
Father from Whom are all things,
Son through Whom are all things,
Holy Ghost in Whom are all things,
Holy and undivided Trinity,
Father everlasting,
Only-begotten Son of the Father,
Spirit Who preceedeth from the Father and the Son,
Co-eternal Majesty of Three Divine Persons,
Father, the Creator,
Son, the Redeemer,
Holy Ghost, the Comforter,
Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of hosts,
Who art, Who wast, and Who art to come,
God Most High, Who inhabitest eternity,
To Whom alone are due all honor and glory,
Who alone doest great wonders,
Power infinite,
Wisdom, incomprehensible,
Love unspeakable,"
"Judge of the Godless and wicked,
Majesty humbling the proud,
Terror of blasphemers,
Rewarder of the patient,
Sanctifier of the obedient,
Thou Who dost exalt the humble,
Thou Who dost exalt the meek,
Inspiration of the persecuted,
Comforter of the mournful,
Father of the peacemakers,
Glorifier of the poor in spirit,
Author of Light,
Author of creation,
Author of life,
Author of fire,
Countenance of wrath,
Countenance of justice,
Countenance of mercy,
Countenance of love,
Countenance of splendor,
Eternal Father, object of the beatific vision,
Eternal Father, incessantly adored by the angels,
Eternal Father, contemplation of the saints,
Eternal Father, desire of the righteous,
Eternal Father, worthy of all adoration,
Eternal Father, worthy of all love,"
Why did ancient humans put a fearsome face on god? And why do so many still believe that god is a vengeful father figure counting our crimes against him and his creation? Why do we still think worship is a good substitute for responsible reverence? Why can't we accept that The Creative Force is exhibited in every form of creation and that we are not great enough to ever see the full scope of the "faces" of that which makes up all matter, Creative Energy? It's okay not to know; the danger is in pretending that we do know that which we don't.
It seems that the people who put human faces on god diminish the magnitude of the Awesome Almighty Power. It can also spiritually cripple those who have had abusive human familial relationships. If I am afraid of all those who have said they are there to protect me, while in truth they use my vulnerability to further their own purposes, it is unlikely that I'm going to feel comfortable with a god who has a father, mother, sister or brother face.
If a raging flood has wiped out my entire village, I may be unable to see Positive Power in the water that can keep me alive, but can also kill me. The same sun that warms me and keeps our crops growing also destroys the sensitive skin that covers my friends prone to skin cancer. The breeze that billows the sails and cools us on a hot day also brought murderous conquerors to the shores of many lands.
Depending on my former experiences, I may perceive any of these things as either good or bad. This is why I believe it is so important to allow each individual to look for The Power of Positive Energy in whatever aspect of creation with which one is gifted, and allow them call all Positive Power god. There is still only one Ultimate Source of Energy, The Alpha and The Omega.
Why can't we see that all religious beliefs, like all accepted science, is what has been revealed to us and the writers thus far. Until we all turn back to Pure Energy, we are not meant to see the beginning or the end, only to be responsible for our small section of the energy that is put in our person and our paths.
"Divine Essence, one true God,
Spirit of truth and wisdom,
Spirit of holiness and justice,
Spirit of understanding and counsel,
Spirit of love and joy,
Spirit of peace and patience,
Spirit of longanimity and meekness,
Spirit of benignity and goodness,
Love substantial of the Father and the Son,
Love and life of saintly souls,
Fire ever burning,
Living water to quench the thirst of hearts,"
"God the Father of Heaven,
God the Son, Redeemer of the world,
God the Holy Ghost,
Holy Trinity, One God,
Father from Whom are all things,
Son through Whom are all things,
Holy Ghost in Whom are all things,
Holy and undivided Trinity,
Father everlasting,
Only-begotten Son of the Father,
Spirit Who preceedeth from the Father and the Son,
Co-eternal Majesty of Three Divine Persons,
Father, the Creator,
Son, the Redeemer,
Holy Ghost, the Comforter,
Holy, holy, holy, Lord God of hosts,
Who art, Who wast, and Who art to come,
God Most High, Who inhabitest eternity,
To Whom alone are due all honor and glory,
Who alone doest great wonders,
Power infinite,
Wisdom, incomprehensible,
Love unspeakable,"
"Judge of the Godless and wicked,
Majesty humbling the proud,
Terror of blasphemers,
Rewarder of the patient,
Sanctifier of the obedient,
Thou Who dost exalt the humble,
Thou Who dost exalt the meek,
Inspiration of the persecuted,
Comforter of the mournful,
Father of the peacemakers,
Glorifier of the poor in spirit,
Author of Light,
Author of creation,
Author of life,
Author of fire,
Countenance of wrath,
Countenance of justice,
Countenance of mercy,
Countenance of love,
Countenance of splendor,
Eternal Father, object of the beatific vision,
Eternal Father, incessantly adored by the angels,
Eternal Father, contemplation of the saints,
Eternal Father, desire of the righteous,
Eternal Father, worthy of all adoration,
Eternal Father, worthy of all love,"
Why did ancient humans put a fearsome face on god? And why do so many still believe that god is a vengeful father figure counting our crimes against him and his creation? Why do we still think worship is a good substitute for responsible reverence? Why can't we accept that The Creative Force is exhibited in every form of creation and that we are not great enough to ever see the full scope of the "faces" of that which makes up all matter, Creative Energy? It's okay not to know; the danger is in pretending that we do know that which we don't.
It seems that the people who put human faces on god diminish the magnitude of the Awesome Almighty Power. It can also spiritually cripple those who have had abusive human familial relationships. If I am afraid of all those who have said they are there to protect me, while in truth they use my vulnerability to further their own purposes, it is unlikely that I'm going to feel comfortable with a god who has a father, mother, sister or brother face.
If a raging flood has wiped out my entire village, I may be unable to see Positive Power in the water that can keep me alive, but can also kill me. The same sun that warms me and keeps our crops growing also destroys the sensitive skin that covers my friends prone to skin cancer. The breeze that billows the sails and cools us on a hot day also brought murderous conquerors to the shores of many lands.
Depending on my former experiences, I may perceive any of these things as either good or bad. This is why I believe it is so important to allow each individual to look for The Power of Positive Energy in whatever aspect of creation with which one is gifted, and allow them call all Positive Power god. There is still only one Ultimate Source of Energy, The Alpha and The Omega.
Why can't we see that all religious beliefs, like all accepted science, is what has been revealed to us and the writers thus far. Until we all turn back to Pure Energy, we are not meant to see the beginning or the end, only to be responsible for our small section of the energy that is put in our person and our paths.
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