A Gift of Light and Life

Why am I obsessed with death at this time of year that is filled with such joy? I think it's because I am so very aware that our bodies begin to die at the moment of conception. What we do in the interim is what I believe creates the hereafter of our souls. It was while kneeling in church at the age of six contemplating the sweet baby Jesus that I had the realization that what I do to others affects Jesus's joy, just like what we children did to each other affected my parents' joy.

Unfortunately, the emphasis in my religion was on the guilt that we should carry for, not only our sins, but the sins of our ancestors. This guilt was fed with the constant reminder that Jesus died for our sins. How could a six-year-old be held responsible for sin? But we certainly were.

There is a custom in some Jewish practice that the afterlife consists in being wrapped in a glorious cloth of the good works that one performed in life. The teaching encourages the followers to be very careful of what kind of cloth they are weaving. This is one way to honor the interconnectedness of all of creation.

We seem to have gotten so focused on our individual relationships with a heavenly presence that we forget that we are put on earth to be valuable parts of creation. As we age, we are faced with a dilemma. How do we continue to be valuable?

The fact is that all physical resources are finite. If we hang onto life even when we become a drain on the resources so needed by those who come after us, what will we leave for them? People of faith espouse a belief in an afterlife of pure peace and joy, so we are we so afraid of "going to God?"

I think it is because of the focus on sin rather than on sharing. I firmly believe that Jesus's life was one of great joy, and that he was born to an observant Jewish family to be a mentor for mitzvah (living the commandments). I believe that part of his mitzvah was to show how much he was dedicated to his cause by allowing himself to be sacrificed. I don't believe that this was the most important event of his life on earth, but was probably necessary to make his point.

Christmas day is a time that I reflect on a life of thirty-three years lived completely and totally by the commandments. He admonished us throughout his short life to help one another. He left The Spirit of Eternal Mitzvah for us all to follow.

My Girl Scout laws included the promise to leave every place I visit better than I found it. I want to leave more good energy on this earth than I have received. I wish that there was a way to bequeath to my children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews the resources that I won't use if I let my body break down in the way that all of nature eventually disintegrates. This would be a present worth wrapping up and placing under the Christmas tree.

Desires and Death

As this season of death and rebirth does approach,
My gift is a subject which nobody likes to broach.
The day we're conceived is the day we begin to die,
Leaving the positive behind is that for which I've tried.
The birth of Jesus began a sequence of life;
One in which we are shown The Spirit of less strife.

Lord, please take me before my second childhood;
I had a first one, and it truly wasn't so good.
People get tired of wiping poo out of people's pants;
At least when we're tiny, there's a little romance.
But for the elderly and the physically infirm,
The thought of complete dependency makes most of us squirm.

As my body ages and I begin to disintegrate
Eternal peace of the hereafter is that for which I wait.
To give up holding on to this body of mine,
There should be a way to sign it over on the dotted line.
Not simply to say that as I breathe my last breath
And there are flat brain wave studies and other tests.

This season of rebirth and personal regeneration
Has given me pause to think about the next generation.
I've worked so hard to give my children, nephews, and nieces
A way to make peace with our ancestors' disparate pieces.
I want to go while the positive that I've imparted
Still exceeds the bad memories of the dearly departed.

A Still Soul

My soul is still this morning, even though I have much to do.
The fear for my children that has fueled me seems to be in a far-back pew.
I finally feel connected to the Divine Feminine in other mothers;
I feel that The Spirit is beginning to infuse even our dads and brothers.
It is our bosoms that hold our children and men and soothe away their fears,
But our men have been taught to fight this truth over so many years.

It seems that now men are finding the joy in being daddies, not fathers;
They are feeling their own Divine Light shining in their sons and daughters.
This gives me hope for a new compassion to infuse all of us on earth
We must remember the pain of getting here, and celebrate this new birth.
This is the joy of Christmas for those who follow the Christ child:
The Spirit infuses all with whom we share This Light in times of trial.

Renewal and Reflection

All alone baking cookies for us and our closest friends;
Letting my loved ones know that when the holidays end
The greatest gift they can give me is a bit of their time;
This is all that gives my life a bit of reason and rhyme.
We have enough candy, cookies, candles and potpourri,
And most people won't dedicate time to be with only me.

I'm not good in crowds because I may say something that offends
And then the pre-planned time of happy camaraderie ends.
I cherish the moments when I can sit and share with one
Who seems part of my world since my time on earth has begun.
I have no need or desire for politics or other small talk;
The shallowness of thought in these simply make me balk.

I have within my heart peace on earth, good will toward men,
But I cannot seem to hold this against the greed that has no end.
I look forward to the visits from those whose love I cherish;
Without the times to renew this, I'm sure that I would perish.
The holidays, if Holy Days, would be a time to reflect and renew,
But renewal and reflection seems to be the plan with only a very few.

Preparing for "My Pretties"

People wonder why I feel that I must tidy up for visiting family;
They tell me often that family should, from judgement of me, be free.
It isn't that I'm afraid that they will think less of me;
I want them to feel that I've prepared a special place for them to be.

I feel that the world outside our families can be such a hard, cruel place,
And that home is where we go to rest when we're tired of running the race.
I want our home to be a shelter that offers protection from outside harm,
Where we wrap blankets of love around those who seek a place that's safe and warm.

I like to think that after we feed and fluff up those we love,
They take away some strength that comes through us from above.
I like to think that we, in the family human, are doing our part
To soften the bonds of fear and anger that have hardened many a heart.

Moving My Merriment

Pumpkin pies for grandson and a gingerbread house for my angel
These are the projects that gave yesterday its holiday angle.
Today it is observing my granddaughter in her school choir
What more could I want to complete my Christmas desires?

Its back home to my sweetheart at our little condo.
I'll miss all the excitement here, but it's time to go.
On to an overnight visit from our niece and nephew;
Our times with these college students are far too few.

Perhaps we'll have lasagna and and my man's amazing salad.
For dessert, our nephew usually thinks that carrot cake is good.
Then we'll give them gifts to celebrate the season
Hoping that their memories will be long-lived and pleasing.

Food Fairy Feats

When my nieces and nephew get together, I'm their food fairy;
Having even this little part of their lives makes me feel merry.
All-you-can-eat good sushi is their favorite "food fairy" treat;
This is what my nieces and nephews wanted me to provide to eat.
It gave us the opportunity to strap the toddlers into high chairs,
And have a bit of adult conversation about in which toddlers don't share.

It wasn't without its moments of challenging by the boys,
But with a four adults to two toddlers, they could not kill our joy.
The waitress was wonderful; she must have children at home;
Of all our special requests, she refused not even one.
Then home with eggnog for grandson to chug-a-lug out of the jug,
And preparing shepherd's pie with my ten-year-old grand love.