Save the Males!

I have a third-grade teacher friend who is worried about the future of males; I share her concern. She believes we need a movement to "save the males;" I believe the males need to take seriously the need to save themselves and their unique contributions to society. Women's choices have been unleashed by effective conception control, and men have been treating our new options as a cute trick that they don't have to take seriously.

My friend is a school teacher for a mostly black and Hispanic population. She has noticed that many of the boys coming to school are not ready to learn. Has this always been the case? I have heard for years that boys tend to be three years behind girls in "maturity." Girls seem to be reaching puberty earlier and earlier, while males seem to be less and less fertile. If we hold boys out of school for longer, will this set them back even more? Or should we put them in pre-school even earlier than their female counterparts? Maybe we simply need more men at home, setting examples of impulse control and compassionate caring.

Without forcible draft for unskilled warriors and with the advent of industrialization making brains more valuable than brawn, what is the future for those males that are not at the top of the educational ladder? Is it to be the same, or worse, than the women in the past who were not born with great physical beauty or family wealth to overcome this handicap?

We still have too many males coming into the world in old-fashioned patriarchal societies, where women defer to their infant boys' demands. Those who have impulse control will eventually control others. The female ability to wait and gestate ideas, plans, and progeny may be outpacing the need for physical superiority. What are we, as mothers, sisters, wives of the males to do? Should we hold back the females or give the males responsibilities other than procreation and protection of the children?

If we are to re-define the role of males as nurturers with greater bursts of physical energy, we must be willing to share with them the skills of nurture and nesting. How else can we hope to create true parenting partnerships? We must share with them the secrets of our own waiting periods instead of scorning them for their own "stop and start" behaviors. They must be willing to give up their macho images for the sweetly sacred innocence of a child's trust.

If we will not incorporate men into our secret societies of settling down to family life, we may be looking at a future without males. IVF is a first step to separating procreation from emotional bonding of parents. Cloning isn't very far in the future. Cells, science, and a womb are all that is necessary to create life without a male. There is now the real possibility of a world of only women. Is this the future we want to see?

Religions of the world need to take note and stop placing gender definitions on The Sacred Spirit's manifestations. It seems that our earth needs both male and female energy in order to prosper. Humans may succeed in fooling nature, but cloned life will lose part of its strength and increase part of its inherent weakness in every subsequent generation. Think of this fact from many years of animal husbandry before you answer this question.

Blessed Be the Womb that Bore You and the Breasts that Nursed You

"Blessed be the womb that bore you and the breasts that nursed you." - Luke 11:27. There must be a reason that both mothering functions were separately honored. Many of us were born to women who, for one reason or another, were unable to "feed" us, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically." Very few of us can do all of these jobs and do them all well, especially for more than one child.

Many months ago, I wrote about stopping abortion through community mothering, and a minister friend who had spent years in Africa, said that children in Africa have many mothers. The birth mother is mother #1. He did go on to say that polygamy is also part of the family life in Africa, but that's another issue.

Coincidentally, a friend from another country was recently telling me about a time when the mother of her godchildren had to be away for an extended period of time to take care of a family medical emergency. My friend, who had never had nor wanted to have children of her own, stepped in as the "mother." There were times that the smallest of the children could not be soothed by any means; she instinctively put them to her dry, but welcoming breast. The babies were soothed.

Many years ago, in some areas of the country, slaves were required to do much of the mothering, never being honored as "other mothers." There is still a disproportionate number of "other mothers" being paid near-slave wages to tend to the children of the wealthy. Shouldn't we be honoring these "breasts that nurse" our children as "mothers" to them, giving them a share of our resources proportionate to the importance of the task they are taking on themselves?

I was blessed with a middle age in which I don't have to earn my own living. This freed me up to have time and energy to devote solely to being "another mother." I have tutored a perfect stranger's child in reading. I have "nursed" four grandchildren, a godchild, and the children of many neighbors and friends. I have also been refused the role as godmother by a church authority that clearly didn't understand the nature of the human elements of faith.

Both my daughter and daughter-in-law are teachers of children with special needs. My daughter's charges are from extreme poverty; those of my daughter-in-law are what we refer to as "special education" children. Both of them not only mother their own children, but participate in "mothering" many other children in their neighborhoods and schools. Both of them are in strong parenting partnerships with their spouses and several close friends, so they are able to also specialize in their own areas of "mothering" expertise.

It is time to rethink what "mothering" means and how it should be honored right here on earth. It is not enough that we write flowery verses singing of a mother's love. It is time that we impress upon our society the desperate need to be prepared to not only give birth, but to provide for all the needs a human baby has in our ever more complex society. It not only takes wombs and breasts to bring up a human baby; it takes brains, immense energy, and a huge financial commitment.

Contrary to religious reasoning of the past, children do not reach the "age of reason" at the age of eight-years-old. It is not the responsibility of an older sibling to "take care of" their little brother or sister. Only responsible adults should be tasked with such an awesome undertaking.

The only way we actually show honor is by sharing our physical resources fairly. There are no master's degrees in mothering, and our society doesn't truly honor the efforts of anyone without a specialization. Community property, as established in some states, may begin to address the inequity in the "wages" for mothering, but not all states have these laws. The nature of the marriage contract should be discussed before any marriage license is granted. Why aren't the churches advocating for this in their social justice campaigns?

There are too many babies being born by those who live only by their animal instincts, procreating and acting as if the rest of society owes it to them and their progeny to be the "breasts that nurse" their offspring. We expect our teachers to do the work that should be done in their own homes and communities. The burden is breaking the backs of our teachers and our educational system.

Perhaps we, as a society, did owe some restitution for all the years that we robbed the slave's families of the mothering energy. I know many white wealthy women who have given untold hours teaching and otherwise "mothering" the children who have few resources at home. It is time that we are realistic about honoring the "other mothers" with resources and honest authority over the burdens put on all those who are responsible parenting partners.

The issue with our old patriarchal mindset is that women are to have all the primary parenting responsibility without commensurate authority or remuneration. If we are to participate in "mothering" the children of others, we should be able to limit the numbers that we will absorb into our hearts and homes. Our society has long been too complex to need a great deal more unskilled laborers. Why are we resistant to free conception control for these less-than-responsible sexually active people?

I have retired from "mothering" because the religious right continues to look at responsibility as a personal relationship between them and their "God." The individual rights advocates refuse to admit that they are part of a community that requires rules of justice in order for partnerships (parenting and other partnerships) to work.

The "blessing" I want for the efforts of my womb, my breasts, and my brain is justice, meaning shared responsibility, shared authority, and shared resources. This, I am blessed with by my husband who did not even father my children, but I know too many women, biological mothers, teachers, nurses, cooks, waitresses, housekeepers, waitresses, clerical workers who are not equally blessed.

Breaking Bread

As a Roman Catholic child, I was taught that my body was a temple of The Holy Spirit and that Jesus was the vine of our faith, we are all branches on this vine. We were also taught all sorts of thoughts, words and actions that would get us pruned from the vine for all eternity. There was only one way to become a part of this vine and to be re-grafted onto it if one was pruned off; this was through a priest in The Roman Catholic church.

I have been thinking of the sacraments that were supposed to instill in us extra grace for daily life, and they did. But giving all this power over to a lone priest or two in each community was a set-up for corruption. And handing the ministry over to people who had no training in humble hospitality was doomed to failure. Women for millenia have tended the home fires and the kitchen gardens. When I ask my husband to prune a peach tree, I'd best be right next to him lest he cut off the blossoms with the branches.

I understand all the grand theater and symbolism makes hearts swell and thoughts turn to gold-lined streets in a future heaven. I just don't see this as the way Jesus did things while he lived.  How and why did the humble home become not good enough for the grand celebrations of shared faith? When and how did religions become a competition for filling the most seats?

It seems to me that another way to look at the creation of the body and blood of Christianity, is not to look at the ritual consecration by the priest of a dry wafer and a bit of fruity liquid. Perhaps the transubstantiation of the bread and wine at our family dinner tables should be treated as the sacrament of changing the blessings of the planting, harvesting, preparing, serving, and sharing in eating and drinking into the earthly manifestations of The Sacred Spirit in the bodies of those who use this energy in service to the sacred earth and its inhabitants.

Do we ever wonder who cooked the loaves and fishes? Who grew and ground the wheat for the bread? Who caught and cleaned the fish? Who served the food to the masses? And what about the food and wine for The Last Sabbath Supper of Jesus? Humans gave their bodies over to the procurement, preparation, and presentation of that banquet. And somebody always has to clean up after any great gathering. Perhaps we should tithe to the "unwashed masses" who fill these functions in our daily lives.

I have a Roman Catholic friend who asks for blessings on the meals we share, ending with "and bless the cook." I feel very honored that he verbalizes appreciation for the effort that goes into putting a meal on the table. Because a person has a gift that is a humble hospitality function should not make this person's efforts invisible. Give me this kind of communion over the walk-through communion of the churches any day. This kind of communion feeds my soul so that I can be a better temple of The Sacred Spirit.

A New Age of The Sacred Spirit

Although I am loved by many, I have scared away many of my Catholic friends who honestly believe that I am damned to hell because I can't subscribe to their belief system. I saddens me that they can believe that I am damned when I so enjoy The Sacred Spirit that I see in each of them. I know the doctrine of the church, as I lived it in the marrow of my bones for most of my life.

It is true that the gifts of these friendships came through the years of Catholic school that I was awarded on scholarship. For these gifts, I am grateful. My departure from the church was based on wrongs done by the church to me, my family, and my friends. For years, I silently lived with the shame of the abuses, as my own mother regularly informed all who would listen that I was a  "not a Christian" and am a "pervert."

I have been scorned as a "heathen" and a "whore" by my own sisters and brothers. I have listened to my Catholic friends spouting "insights" that they have picked up from religious radio programs regarding the people in typhoon torn countries somehow deserving of the "wrath of God" for their lack of Christian beliefs. How could a group of people who feel their own lives to be righteous, having lived the ravages of Hurricane Katrina, be so blinded by their religion-centered prejudices?

I have heard, from the mouths of the people who have committed these acts, that they have sprinkled "holy water" on the mentally ill and on Jews to "drive out the demons." I have sat at a wedding mass and heard the priest turn people away from the "table" of "the Eucharist" who were there as supporters of the newly formed couple, simply because these people did not subscribe to the church's creed. I have heard sneering remarks from these mouths regarding the possibility of a "universal religion" as if that would be a bad thing. I have taken it upon myself to remind these friends that "Catholic" means "universal."

I have been asked to serve as the honored godmother of several children in whose lives I'm considered family, and have been banned from this honor because I had once been baptized in the church. It matters not the way we live our lives; it matters to what creed we subscribe.

I have been told that I am bitter and unforgiving, and been encouraged to approach the communion rail with my Catholic friends; this I cannot do until all my friends of every faith, color, and creed would be equally welcome. It is not about forgiveness; it is about the agony of becoming homeless because I walked away and finally revealed the sins being perpetrated and protected in my own former home.

Many of these devout Catholics sneer at "new age" religion. I pray every day that we are entering a new age of The Sacred Spirit when we are humble enough to see our own sins and confess them to one another as we sit down to our sacred feasts; when we welcome all people of responsible compassion to our community tables; when lives of loving service are more honored than the creed that one has memorized as a child; when a woman's words are as honored as those of any man, be he pope, priest, or pauper.

I have not been asked, by the perpetrators, for my forgiveness, and many of their acts that I abhor aren't in my purview to forgive. Am I to be a Judas who kisses the pope's ring while knowing that I am praying for the dissolution of the Roman Catholic church in favor of a truly Catholic community over all the earth?

Perhaps we could start with the baptism of clean water for all the earth's people, communion of enough food for all the earth's families, and a treaty to stop sacrificing sons and daughters to the god that demands blood sacrifice.

The Religion of Minds and Mates

I learned meditation while watching a baby from the most unlikely source, my very strait-laced, very buttoned-up, neurologist husband. I had already found ways to get into a deep meditative state just before falling asleep, but I had real trouble with meditation "in the moment." Watching my husband soothe babies (I suspect while soothing himself, as people do with pets) changed all of this for me.

When he would come home from his always stressful days at the office, to a houseful of borrowed children, I would ask him to take the children for long enough that I could complete our evening meal. Having been a caterer for many years, this could usually be achieved in less than an hour. It mattered not to my husband how the babies screamed and thrashed, he would sit with the small children in his lap, repeatedly kissing the tops of their heads. The baby would soon settle down, and usually sleep.

As I would marvel at his lack of anxiety; he would simply reply, "Crying is a baby's job." The only other person I had ever seen who had this ability as a baby whisperer had been my maternal grandmother. It was beautiful to behold. The father of my children, not now my husband, had this trait. My children picked up this trait from their father, even though a divorce was in order to allow them all to embrace this.

The father of my children and I came from city stress on everyone, exacerbated by unrealistic expectations of isolated family units. When one has too many responsibilities, something has to suffer; it is usually the most vulnerable members of society.My husband comes from an animal husbandry background, where he was taught that content mamas produce healthy offspring, and safe babies make better for breeds.

Religions have attempted to deny our animal natures, thereby separating us from the ways of human "herds." In the process, they have created a culture of fear and shame that is infecting our attachment to proper stewardship of all things on earth. We have not become immune to our animal instincts, no matter how many punishments have been inflicted on us to attempt it. Unfortunately, we also haven't been taught the value of accepting them and channeling them into greater responsibility and compassion.

Our religions have fostered fear of anything that we can't explain, and anger toward what we can't control. They have separated the yin and the yang of nature into opposing forces, rather than embracing a harmonious whole. We are creating new life without the cooperation of the male and female energies that are so important for balance in the universe.

It is time that we realize that much of technology is not fostering humanity; it is attempting to create life without souls. What was invented to give humanity more time to meditate has only led to more insistence on activity and attempts at "perfection". Contraception control was invented to give mother's bodies more time to heal and the children more time to be held. It has helped lead to less sons being slaughtered in war and incarcerated. All good animal husbandry includes responsible fertilization by people who have information and free will. When will religions realize that we are not sheep, but human beings with minds, mates, and communities that are more important than any religion?

Sharing Our Secrets

FRIDAY, MARCH 22, 2013

Hearing the Voice of God - by Gayle Nolan

 We can have confidence in what we are experiencing because it has already been revealed in Scripture. ( -- from yesterday's entry)

 

I realize that there is some kind of glitch in blogspot that prevents people from responding to the blogs.  Up until very recently, I have not been able to respond to people who responded, because I was told that I did not 'have access to this site.'  But the last time I tried, a couple of months ago, I was successful in posting a response.  I know 'they,' whoever 'they' are, have been working to improve blogspot.

 

So today, I am going to pose a question for reflection.  Whoever wants to respond may do so:

 

How does the Spirit of God speak to you?

When do you tend to 'hear' Him?

How does He guide you?

 

This is the same question posed three different ways, so anyone is free to answer just one or all three. I wish there were a way to have answers posted as part of the blog itself instead of just as a response, but we'll see how this works.  If anyone wants to reflect in the e-mail format, I'll cut and paste the responses tomorrow.                       nolangayle@gmail.com

OneBirdWatching.blogspot.com

From Y:

From my point of view, these are questions worth answering. I felt free to call the spirit that infiltrates my being when I'm not "thinking" The Sacred Spirit. I don't think Gayle will take offense if you don't call your inner voice "God." Sometimes my voice sounds like my son or daughter, sometimes like my daddy, sometimes like Gayle, sometimes like the halyards on the sailboats in the harbor, sometimes like the seagulls, etc...

Are All Anointed?

If "Christianity" is to be true, we must go back to the beginning,
Before Jesus was seen as the only way to cure sinning.
The Christ is an anointed one in religion, it is true;
In the history of the universe, could there be more than a few?

The early "Christians" were not angry competing crusaders,
But, through violence, they were overshadowed by invaders.
Fear of physical death has led to much false religion;
Martyrdom for a cause is not an easy decision.

It is especially difficult to see our babies tortured and slain,
When we're afraid that only the angry and hate-filled will remain.
How many have been anointed to show us a way to peace?
In recent generations, this passion seems to have increased.

Moses was an anointed leader who put down his sword,
Uniting his people with only the power of the word.
Jesus showed the Jews that salvation wasn't through blood;
It was a choice to follow in a path of peace and good.

The apostles decided that gentiles could be tamed
If only they would bow to their savior's holy name.
But the true "Christians" were converting by simply being,
So others would want the joy that they were seeing.

But "Christianity" bowed to Constantine to move forward;
It became not about acts and about the creed's words.
The message Jewish Jesus lived by was not new;
The Sacred Spirit has existed since the first winds blew.

The Sacred Spirit leads humanity to choose justice;
There is enough for all, if we only learn to trust this.
Buddha may have been an sacredly anointed one,
And Krishna may have been The Sacred Spirit's son.

Isn't it also true, from the Jewish perspective,
Acceptance of The Sacred Spirit is humanity's elective?
Was Gandhi an anointed one to lead a nation to peace?
And was MLK anointed to, our nation's unity, increase?

It is not about any one soul in any one generation;
It is about connecting all paths to the unity of nations.
Only joyful community living of compassionate purpose
Will take the place of violently competing discourse.

Only when religions go back to paths of peace on earth
Will humans honor the reason for which we're given birth.
Animals live in fear of losing territory and of starvation;
Humans can choose to share strengths with all nations.

We continue to live contrary to what we say we believe
Because we, by those who lead by fear, have been deceived.
Look for The Sacred Spirit in each person's eyes
And you may find, beneath the anger, fear in disguise.

We have been shown that the power of unity in peace
Is a proven way for The Sacred Spirit to increase.
Silence those preaching future hell fire and damnation;
They have made hell on earth in all "Christian" nations.

The spirit of all the anointed ones lives on in humanity;
We can follow the light of any one that we can see.
The light of peace burns brighter than any explosion;
Only responsible compassionate living can stop its erosion.