Reminiscences from A Riverside Retreat

My friend curls up at her Riverside Retreat,

Caring enough to stay up late and talk.

She has the courage to speak her mind

But I think she needs to stop running and walk.

She continues to look for mountains to climb;

She seems to want to ford every stream.

I fear she’ll never find any lasting peace,

Pursuing, on this earth, an impossible dream.

Each of us is only given so much garden to tend;

We must seek and honor that garden’s boundaries.

None of us is meant to tend our gardens alone

This is why humans create families.

My friend has a husband who loves her and their child;

So much of him lives well in their daughter.

She may succeed in divorcing the man

But in their child, she’ll still deal with the father.

The question I'm not sure she has asked
Is, "Do I even want to be married?"
Marriage means sometimes we carry the other,
And allow ourselves to be sometimes carried.

I have given up the fantasy that all marriages

Fit into a convenient relationship mold.

Loving each other through loving others

Is not what the romantics foretold.

We were taught to love only each other and our church;

The children were a cross all lovers had to bear.

But I have seen even hate-filled relationships

Become healed by others who deeply care.

Rather than setting our children against themselves,

Many grievances should remain unspoken.

Blessed are the children who receive love,

Even though their parents are quite broken.

Our prejudices and sinful selves may be passed on,

But family honoring of ancestors is often overrated.

When we encourage our children to become their best selves,

Children can truly love some that their families hated.

While it is true that some things can’t exist simultaneously,

We can all learn tolerance if we are strong in our own values.

If we aren’t afraid of losing our own boundaries,

Loving those we disagree with is something we can choose.