Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Couples, Kids, and Community

One of the hardest things in life is to figure out where we fit into the wholeness of creation. Do we have an internal sense of what is life-affirming and what is taking some of the growth energy away from the rest of what is created? Are some of us incapable of feeling empathy even at birth? When we think about the "sins" of the father being passed down to future generations, are we really talking about the chemical imbalances that are either part of our genetic code or part of what chemicals wash over our brains both before and after we are born? After all, the womb is the environment of the fetus, and all environmental influences affect our brain chemistry. This, in turn, affects our emotional responses and behaviors.

In animal husbandry, it used to be accepted that contented mothers produced healthier offspring. We have now industrialized all of the process of creation, down to creating humans in sterile environments, outside of the bonds of relationship even to the two people contributing their genetic material. We certainly don't give due consideration to the need for a nurturing network to help the mother and baby through the vulnerable times of maternity and child rearing.

Not everyone lives next door to the elders in their birth family. I thought that churches were places where we would be accountable to others of our faith network, but this has not been my experience with most church groups. I find that in churches there is more competition for who is holiest than there is a baring of souls to create cooperation.Why is it that there are more people all over America at Bible studies, marching at morality rallies, and sitting at Divine adoration than there are sitting in living rooms counseling couples and cuddling crying babies?

We leave each family unit to fend for themselves, without assistance from the elders who have time, experience, and wisdom to contribute. We seem to have less sense about these things than other mammals. Even wolves and elephants know that it takes more than two to keep a mother and her young from predators.