Monday, June 25, 2012

The Skin I'm In

Every time life is kind to me, I become giddy with gratitude,
And when I'm hurt or angry, I cannot hide my mood.
Some turn their hearts from me because I'm too emotional
It's the only way I stay undepressed when I feel devotional.

I have been taught from birth that God does not enjoy
The loud speech or laughter of lively girls and boys.
I just can't be quiet when I feel The Spirit tickle me;
I can't sing, dance, or paint, but my Spirit struggles free.

I see my children and their children, and their Spirits blind me;
I think I try too hard to help others see what only I can see.
I have spent my life punished, scorned, and drugged
Because I've always wanted to give the world a hug.

Many envy my liveliness, say I'm high on life;
Some think it makes me a lousy mother and wife.
I have found out there's a diagnosis for people like me,
Borderline Personality Disorder, known as BPD.

Who assigns these diagnoses; who sets the norm?
Your discomfort doesn't mean I'll do you harm.
It is true I need boundaries, a safe place to rest,
But denying my emotions takes away my best.

Even my mother was jealous of the power of my personality;
I have often prayed, from my personality, to be set free.
It must be a wonderful thing to be comfortable in one's skin,
But, on this journey through life, I wouldn't know where to begin.