Thursday, December 29, 2011

Loving and Lashing Out

Why is it that we can give G_d all the thanks for all the good in our lives, but we tend to lash out at other people for all the evil that befalls us? I can understand children, as teenagers, lashing out at their parents because they are trying to clearly identify who they are and their own values as separate from their co-creators. If we really trust that G_d will always love us, why can't we trust that we can lash out at God when we are angry, hurt or confused?

G_d has bigger "shoulders" than any human, including those of our own fathers and grandfathers, and yet we quake in fear at the thought of shaking our fists toward heaven. Moses questioned G_d, as did Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. In my reading of the Bible, from the beginning of creation, it was the people who hid from G_d that were lost, not those who struggled with G_d. Maybe if we hadn't been taught that G_d punishes those who question "Him," we'd be more prone to open dialog with The Force that really impacts our lives.

It is natural for children to be in awe of their parents, up to the age when children have mastery of their own values and skill sets. If we are truly firm in our faith, isn't it time that we begin talking with G_d as adults instead of as quaking children? Awe is not the same thing as fear, and yet there are many references to "fear of The Lord" in the Bible. We cannot be in honest relationship with that which we fear. Parents who demand fear from their children get children who are outwardly obedient, but not bonded in the spirit of community.

I have been the recipient of so much misplaced grief and anger that my heart is broken. Since I seem to be the strongest, I am too often seen as the only one who can "take it." I don't think it will ever mend until my people begin to give their grief to G_d instead of dumping it on each other. But, unfortunately, most of my people seem really afraid of G_d.

My hope is that we will all begin to experience the strength of an internalized and freely shared Spirit of Wholeness, which, I believe, only comes with a mature faith.