Saturday, August 4, 2012

Flashbacks and Family

It is so sad that every memory stored has a good side and a bad;
The events that have given me the most joy also make me sad.
Sometimes it is for opportunities lost or grief over change
There is even grief that no two of us remember events the same.

So much of my life I can't remember because we had little peace;
When crisis is a constant companion, memories tend to decrease.
But all the memories must be there, hidden under the veneer
Of the memories I've been avoiding because of things I fear.

I came back on a pilgrimage back through my childhood,
Attempting to face, with adult strength, the evil and the good.
The pain seems to have hold of my feet, dragging me down again.
When I am finished this journey, will any of me remain?

Can any therapy take away the pain caused by my divorces?
They not only affected me, but set my childrens' courses.
Will I ever again  find comfort in family and community,
Or will I continue to be crippled by the dangers that I see?

Am I a prophet without honor in my own family's homes?
Or am I an adulteress that deserves to be stoned?
I can find nobody who looks like me in sacred scripture;
This is why I turn for answers to other literature.

Paul was very happy to talk about his own life;
Where are the stories of overcoming family strife?
We hold our family stories as secrets not to be revealed;
How can we expect our communities to ever become healed?