I was taught to accept the example of Jesus’ ways;
Jesus often felt betrayed, in his last few days.
Those who turned against me, I soon forgave,
While I continue to be the one considered most depraved.
I have long been persecuted for the manner of my ways.
How long am I to bear what was, for Jesus, only three days?
It has been too many years that I have taken the punishment
For the sins of those who had no pressure to repent.
I’ve stood between many abusers and their intended prey,
Only to be told that I’m the one who should be put away.
I am tired of living in this world of such hypocrisy
I often ask myself if dying is the only way I’ll ever be free.
It seems to have worked for Jesus, as he died physically,
Leaving behind the essence of his great spirituality.
Those who admit that my strength emboldened them,
May, after my death, feel that I was truly their friend.
I never sought to conquer, only to be a part of a team,
But this is clearly not the message that most of them gleaned.
I am too strong for most to feel comfortable taking the lead,
But I can no longer pretend that I’m willing to have no need.
What would Jesus have done if Peter had stayed awake,
And convinced Judas, his betrayal plan, to forsake?
Would this have produced another generation of saviors,
Children of Jesus, with exemplary human behaviors?
I believe that, in many ways, Jesus got off rather easy,
Though his route of death makes most feel quite queasy.
There are many things that, I believe, are worse than death.
Solidarity in professed values is what would give me rest.
Who am I to expect this degree of loyalty,
When even Jesus was betrayed while in his misery?
I am a simple human, not born to his superior ancestry;
I am doing the best I can in what I was sent to be.
I have been repeatedly told that I should disappear
Before I negate the memories of those who held me dear.
I am ready to die, but it appears not my time;
I must now descend, so that others I love can climb.
Is this the reason Jesus assented to be crucified;
He knew that others would not have even tried?
If they continued to depend on his greater strength,
They’d ignore the missions on which they had been sent.
Where is my cross? Where is my tomb?
Even my mother cursed me from her womb.
I wish not to live with no mother, father or friend.
My chosen family’s betrayal has become my end.