Once we take on responsibilities outside of ourselves, we must find others who help support those new ways. We must begin building a caring community. This often precludes any involvement with those who only share in our childish ways.
It can be very difficult to grow up at the same time as we accept the seemingly unconditional love of those who knew us "back when." As we evolve, we "put away the things of a child." This does not mean that we don't still enjoy embracing the pure abandon of our youth, but we must step back and analyze whether that wild abandon comes with too great a price to ourselves and those for whom we are responsible and the members of our community who are committed to sharing in our responsibility.
All communities establish boundaries in which each member must operate. When we break with these boundaries, we become outsiders and cannot expect that the privileges and resources of community will continue to be expended on our efforts. This is a hard lesson for us to learn.
In healthy family systems, these lessons are learned as we go through our toddler tantrums and our teenage terrors. In communities, there will always be those who seek to test the limits. A healthy community has the strength of their convictions to back up their boundaries. They will turn away from those who seek to control the community, but with love and openness to eventual reunion.
We are told that the first couple on earth wanted to assume all the authority for themselves, and that they were allowed to leave the Great Garden to test their own abilities. In this manner, they were given all the responsibility accompanying their desired authority. We are told that our human struggles all go back to the desire to control that over which we have no real power.
When we continue to allow any member of our community to usurp the authority of our community without assuming responsibility, we weaken every other member of the community. Anarchy eventually ensues.
When we allow any member of our community to pretend that he or she has more ability than they do, we break down the strength that comes from synergy of combined honest efforts. False idols are allowed to ascend to their own pride-produced thrones. Dictators and other despots thus begin their reigns of terror.
In a fair family and community, growth of an individual is encouraged through the nurturing of all gifts, and the back pressure of the other members to help in facing our fears. There are no autocrats, but there are elders who act as guides and guards for the safety and success of the whole. These teachers must have a proven record of living within the laws and must have the humility to ask for help from other elders on issues in which they have no experience. Only then will the circle of life be closed, go back to The Garden, and continue to bear fruit.
I see salvation as a great gathering in an endless Garden where we find that we are all one fair family.