Saturday, October 20, 2012

Live, Love, Laugh

My daughter has the slogan, "Live, Love, Laugh" prominently displayed in several places in her home. I love light-hearted laughter, but am not comfortable with much of the "snark" that passes for funny. So much of who we like to be with seems to be based on what we find fun and funny. Shared humor certainly makes my marriage much more rewarding.

Although the thing that first attracted me to Richard was the twinkle in his eyes when he gazed at my infant godson, there have been many points of his humor that didn't amuse me one bit. Richard was brought up in an age when ridicule was seen as a way to change the behaviors of others. We had to negotiate this tendency out of our relationships to the children in our care.

There are things that I find amusing that don't make him laugh. Humor about my failing female body parts simply embarrasses him. I know some women who only laugh with their fellow female friends, and men who do the same. I am so grateful for the friends that I find funny who also love to laugh with me.

When we finally trust our relationships enough to find each others' and our own foibles funny, we can get through almost anything life throws at us. It took many years of our own healing for us to get to that point of trust. I am eternally grateful that now my best and funniest friend is my husband.

Giggles are the purest form of laughter, as they come from our child-like innocence way down deep in our souls. A good guffaw, not at another's expense, can really clean out our emotional cobwebs. Maybe marriage preparation should include a giggle and guffaw gauge. If you can't find any mutually funny moments, you marriage will probably be one long, hard road.

Isn't it amazing that even a laugh can be healing or hurtful? I'm not sure we can ever achieve "faith like a child" until we reclaim our ability to giggle and guffaw as we did when we were still innocent.