It seems to be universal that children who have lost a parent, whether to death, divorce, or abandonment, forever feel that they themselves are deficient in some way. Maybe we can't fully become who we are meant to be without wrestling with our elders until we come to an equilibrium of abilities.
Having a steady light of home life is a safety net for spiritual seekers. The important thing seems to be that the elders stay steadfastly on their own paths, at the same time as they allow exploration and growth in their dependents. The keepers of the flame must allow the weary wanderers a place around the fire, but must keep them from infecting the innocent with anarchy.
At fourteen, I effectively lost my parents. My father had come out of a two-year-long depression as a man I no longer knew, acting the part of a naughty teenager when what our large family of soon-to-be teens needed was a patriarch. My mother refused to face that fact that Daddy and the leaders to whom she had entrusted her children were bringing all manner of sin to her home and her progeny.
This all happened at the same time as our country and our church were turning away from all our old rules in the 1960s. We had no more societal norms. Irresponsible sex, drugs, and anarchy became the new norm in our home, our church, and our country.
My mother and I began a very tumultuous relationship based on her belief that women were to be apparently submissive to men, at the same time as we were encouraged to be secretly subversive. I was never one to be secretly anything, so I often found myself feeling like the child announcing, "The emperor has no clothes!"
I seemed to see it as a way to affect change that I thought others would want, but this did not play out in my experience. How is one to know when others are whispering and pointing out the problem that they are all in on a secret that they pretend nobody else knows? I became the family outcast in my mother's eyes, while to my daddy, I became another of his flirtations with frivolous females.
I have since asked myself whether we are to go along with the community in an effort to keep peace, or is it our duty to walk our own path when the community seems to be blinded by their traditions and fear of truth and the accompanying change? At what point are we justified in saying that we see the same mistakes being repeated, no matter how uncomfortable this may make those around us?
Change made too rapidly, and without understanding and honoring the past, is doomed to create more harm than lasting good. Honoring does not mean repeating the past; it simply means studying it to obtain an understanding of what works and what doesn't work in the promotion of the eternal quest for a community of social justice. Social justice, it seems to me, depends on cooperation of all of creation, with an orderly way to affect and incorporate change.
Shortly before my mother died, she wrote to me that I had a "gift" for "challenging." I received her note after her death. Had we finally come to an acceptance of each other as we are? Was she granting me her permission to openly challenge that which she had been alternately submitting to and subverting? Can the fighting factions inside my soul finally make peace with each other?
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Discipline and Discipleship
Our father battered us
Our mother banished us;
These were the ways of their God.
Our religion, though called Christian,
Did not follow the example
Of their messiah who on this earth trod.
Discipline meant to do as they say.
There was no call for their children
To pay no attention to what they may do.
Leadership seemed to mean nothing
About showing one's own family the way,
And was bestowed only on the chosen few.
All authority was in the clergy.
Mere mortals could not be disciples
And have The Spirit simply enter their souls.
To keep all soldiers of the faith
Fighting for what the clergy deemed right
Seemed to be all of the religions' primary goals.
I have a brother-in-law who does a comedy routine about God being schizophrenic if we are to believe both the old and new testaments of the Bible. I have a soul sister who believes that God hasn't changed, but that our understanding of God evolves. Our only hope as a people seems to me to be an understanding that our story of faith did not stop evolving two thousand years ago, and that all of creation has the opportunity to experience the light of The Spirit of Wholeness (Holiness) in our individual souls.
Our mother banished us;
These were the ways of their God.
Our religion, though called Christian,
Did not follow the example
Of their messiah who on this earth trod.
Discipline meant to do as they say.
There was no call for their children
To pay no attention to what they may do.
Leadership seemed to mean nothing
About showing one's own family the way,
And was bestowed only on the chosen few.
All authority was in the clergy.
Mere mortals could not be disciples
And have The Spirit simply enter their souls.
To keep all soldiers of the faith
Fighting for what the clergy deemed right
Seemed to be all of the religions' primary goals.
I have a brother-in-law who does a comedy routine about God being schizophrenic if we are to believe both the old and new testaments of the Bible. I have a soul sister who believes that God hasn't changed, but that our understanding of God evolves. Our only hope as a people seems to me to be an understanding that our story of faith did not stop evolving two thousand years ago, and that all of creation has the opportunity to experience the light of The Spirit of Wholeness (Holiness) in our individual souls.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Sinning and Secrets
The seminal stories of the Bible seem to be an allegory for the ongoing arrogance that destroys people, their progeny, and their progeny's progeny. When will we realize that we are all a community who have no permanent secrets? All action has an equal and opposite reaction, no matter how far back in time we have wished it to be different.
It seems to me that the greatest mistake we make is in trying to keep our sins secrets from those with whom we are most closely connected. Isn't that the message of the story of Adam and Eve? Wasn't the fatal problem that they attempted to hide their mistake from the provider of their paradise, rather than come clean and ask for a fresh start?
And what of Cain and Able? Wasn't the beginning of his alienation that Cain didn't ask for clarification of his own worth and that of his brother before killing his brother in a jealous rage? Instead of admitting his error, he further alienated himself from his family by denying his crime against his community. How would things have been different if Cain's elders were consulted in an atmosphere of humility, honesty, and openness to learning from those who have most investment in the community?
As a child, I tired of listening to my elders speak of the errors of others, but I rarely, if ever, heard them admit their own mistakes. The men seemed to brag about what they had done that was against the rules of our religion, while the women seemed too ashamed to talk about errors of their own pasts. Authority figures absolutely never said that they were sorry for anything they did or said, except in the privacy of the confessional.
My father would take a Saturday night bath and go to confession. He would come home beaming and announce, "Your old dad is clean inside and out." I never understood how this helped in healing the wounds he had inflicted on our family? I often hear Christians say that they have confessed their sins to their God, and that their souls are healed. How is this possible when they have wounded the community of fellow humans by their actions? Did not Jesus say that what is done to one of the parts of the his community, we also do to him, and by extension, The Almighty? Is not the overarching story of salvation, a coming back to perfect community with all of creation?
Only when we are willing to hear what has already been tried can we avoid eternal repetition of the errors of our elders. This presupposes that our elders are honest and humble enough to admit their errors and to seek to make their own amends. Only when we work for forgiveness from those we have harmed can new community commence. Only by heeding guidance from our elders who lead by their own examples can we keep community intact.
It seems to me that the greatest mistake we make is in trying to keep our sins secrets from those with whom we are most closely connected. Isn't that the message of the story of Adam and Eve? Wasn't the fatal problem that they attempted to hide their mistake from the provider of their paradise, rather than come clean and ask for a fresh start?
And what of Cain and Able? Wasn't the beginning of his alienation that Cain didn't ask for clarification of his own worth and that of his brother before killing his brother in a jealous rage? Instead of admitting his error, he further alienated himself from his family by denying his crime against his community. How would things have been different if Cain's elders were consulted in an atmosphere of humility, honesty, and openness to learning from those who have most investment in the community?
As a child, I tired of listening to my elders speak of the errors of others, but I rarely, if ever, heard them admit their own mistakes. The men seemed to brag about what they had done that was against the rules of our religion, while the women seemed too ashamed to talk about errors of their own pasts. Authority figures absolutely never said that they were sorry for anything they did or said, except in the privacy of the confessional.
My father would take a Saturday night bath and go to confession. He would come home beaming and announce, "Your old dad is clean inside and out." I never understood how this helped in healing the wounds he had inflicted on our family? I often hear Christians say that they have confessed their sins to their God, and that their souls are healed. How is this possible when they have wounded the community of fellow humans by their actions? Did not Jesus say that what is done to one of the parts of the his community, we also do to him, and by extension, The Almighty? Is not the overarching story of salvation, a coming back to perfect community with all of creation?
Only when we are willing to hear what has already been tried can we avoid eternal repetition of the errors of our elders. This presupposes that our elders are honest and humble enough to admit their errors and to seek to make their own amends. Only when we work for forgiveness from those we have harmed can new community commence. Only by heeding guidance from our elders who lead by their own examples can we keep community intact.
Friday, June 10, 2011
How I See Salvation
Once we take on responsibilities outside of ourselves, we must find others who help support those new ways. We must begin building a caring community. This often precludes any involvement with those who only share in our childish ways.
It can be very difficult to grow up at the same time as we accept the seemingly unconditional love of those who knew us "back when." As we evolve, we "put away the things of a child." This does not mean that we don't still enjoy embracing the pure abandon of our youth, but we must step back and analyze whether that wild abandon comes with too great a price to ourselves and those for whom we are responsible and the members of our community who are committed to sharing in our responsibility.
All communities establish boundaries in which each member must operate. When we break with these boundaries, we become outsiders and cannot expect that the privileges and resources of community will continue to be expended on our efforts. This is a hard lesson for us to learn.
In healthy family systems, these lessons are learned as we go through our toddler tantrums and our teenage terrors. In communities, there will always be those who seek to test the limits. A healthy community has the strength of their convictions to back up their boundaries. They will turn away from those who seek to control the community, but with love and openness to eventual reunion.
We are told that the first couple on earth wanted to assume all the authority for themselves, and that they were allowed to leave the Great Garden to test their own abilities. In this manner, they were given all the responsibility accompanying their desired authority. We are told that our human struggles all go back to the desire to control that over which we have no real power.
When we continue to allow any member of our community to usurp the authority of our community without assuming responsibility, we weaken every other member of the community. Anarchy eventually ensues.
When we allow any member of our community to pretend that he or she has more ability than they do, we break down the strength that comes from synergy of combined honest efforts. False idols are allowed to ascend to their own pride-produced thrones. Dictators and other despots thus begin their reigns of terror.
In a fair family and community, growth of an individual is encouraged through the nurturing of all gifts, and the back pressure of the other members to help in facing our fears. There are no autocrats, but there are elders who act as guides and guards for the safety and success of the whole. These teachers must have a proven record of living within the laws and must have the humility to ask for help from other elders on issues in which they have no experience. Only then will the circle of life be closed, go back to The Garden, and continue to bear fruit.
I see salvation as a great gathering in an endless Garden where we find that we are all one fair family.
It can be very difficult to grow up at the same time as we accept the seemingly unconditional love of those who knew us "back when." As we evolve, we "put away the things of a child." This does not mean that we don't still enjoy embracing the pure abandon of our youth, but we must step back and analyze whether that wild abandon comes with too great a price to ourselves and those for whom we are responsible and the members of our community who are committed to sharing in our responsibility.
All communities establish boundaries in which each member must operate. When we break with these boundaries, we become outsiders and cannot expect that the privileges and resources of community will continue to be expended on our efforts. This is a hard lesson for us to learn.
In healthy family systems, these lessons are learned as we go through our toddler tantrums and our teenage terrors. In communities, there will always be those who seek to test the limits. A healthy community has the strength of their convictions to back up their boundaries. They will turn away from those who seek to control the community, but with love and openness to eventual reunion.
We are told that the first couple on earth wanted to assume all the authority for themselves, and that they were allowed to leave the Great Garden to test their own abilities. In this manner, they were given all the responsibility accompanying their desired authority. We are told that our human struggles all go back to the desire to control that over which we have no real power.
When we continue to allow any member of our community to usurp the authority of our community without assuming responsibility, we weaken every other member of the community. Anarchy eventually ensues.
When we allow any member of our community to pretend that he or she has more ability than they do, we break down the strength that comes from synergy of combined honest efforts. False idols are allowed to ascend to their own pride-produced thrones. Dictators and other despots thus begin their reigns of terror.
In a fair family and community, growth of an individual is encouraged through the nurturing of all gifts, and the back pressure of the other members to help in facing our fears. There are no autocrats, but there are elders who act as guides and guards for the safety and success of the whole. These teachers must have a proven record of living within the laws and must have the humility to ask for help from other elders on issues in which they have no experience. Only then will the circle of life be closed, go back to The Garden, and continue to bear fruit.
I see salvation as a great gathering in an endless Garden where we find that we are all one fair family.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Balance and Blessings
"Life isn't fair." This may be true for most, but I believe that family, fellowship, and friendship are dependent on fairness for the balance of positive power on earth.
We are all the products of the grace given to us by birth and the influences upon us as we go through this life. Arrogance is the belief that our knowledge, wisdom, and other gifts exist in a vacuum of outside influence. Humility is the ability to recognize and respect our own talents and weaknesses, and those of others. Stewardship is the fair and responsible use of our talents in better balancing the energy on earth.
It is sometimes hard to believe that there is any hope of balance in our existence. We can't understand why one is given so many talents and privileges while another seems to have few to none. This has led us to erroneously believe that there are classes of chosen people and classes of the deficient and damned.
In a world bent on balance, we see each of our gifts as an opening to service of those with other or less privileges than we were given. And, in those who are given different, sometimes seemingly few gifts, this is an invitation to find the best ways to maximize one's contribution to our earth.
It does none of us any good to write down to zero any talent in ourselves or in another while simultaneously raising others above the ranks of the merely mortal. As the most ancient myths point out, great gifts are very often accompanied by equally strong temptations toward our own destruction and that of our society.
The caste system and many other methods of protecting dynasties, be they of families, political parties, or religious factions, seeks to have a predictable and orderly process of passing strengths from one generation to another. This is not the way of nature. What we call natural selection in animals of a lower order is in humans actually an opportunity to always have a purpose for every person, even if that purpose is the sacrifice of oneself for a higher ideal than individual life on earth.
We will not achieve balance as long as we allow ourselves or those we love to be less than the blessings that they were meant to be.
We are all the products of the grace given to us by birth and the influences upon us as we go through this life. Arrogance is the belief that our knowledge, wisdom, and other gifts exist in a vacuum of outside influence. Humility is the ability to recognize and respect our own talents and weaknesses, and those of others. Stewardship is the fair and responsible use of our talents in better balancing the energy on earth.
It is sometimes hard to believe that there is any hope of balance in our existence. We can't understand why one is given so many talents and privileges while another seems to have few to none. This has led us to erroneously believe that there are classes of chosen people and classes of the deficient and damned.
In a world bent on balance, we see each of our gifts as an opening to service of those with other or less privileges than we were given. And, in those who are given different, sometimes seemingly few gifts, this is an invitation to find the best ways to maximize one's contribution to our earth.
It does none of us any good to write down to zero any talent in ourselves or in another while simultaneously raising others above the ranks of the merely mortal. As the most ancient myths point out, great gifts are very often accompanied by equally strong temptations toward our own destruction and that of our society.
The caste system and many other methods of protecting dynasties, be they of families, political parties, or religious factions, seeks to have a predictable and orderly process of passing strengths from one generation to another. This is not the way of nature. What we call natural selection in animals of a lower order is in humans actually an opportunity to always have a purpose for every person, even if that purpose is the sacrifice of oneself for a higher ideal than individual life on earth.
We will not achieve balance as long as we allow ourselves or those we love to be less than the blessings that they were meant to be.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Rituals and Righteousness
"It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin." Luke 17:2
Does one's own inability to follow a faithful path justify suicide as a protection against the corruption of the innocent? And what of war? Are we justified in the killing of those who seek to lead our children away from The Almighty?
Does not the commandment to honor one's father and mother presuppose that the parents are honoring The Almighty? At what age are we not only free, but duty bound, to seek our own paths, even if it means a break with the faith of our fathers and mothers?
But, can we ever completely break the bonds of the "sins of the father?" How far can we actually get from our birth and upbringing? It seems that in times of stress, the natural tendency is to revert back to that which comes naturally. Genetic predisposition, combined with our upbringing, is what is natural to us.
I know that the Judeo-Christian message is one of redemption and starting fresh by walking with others on the Path back to Paradise. But can this actually be achieved in our lifetimes, or are we destined to carry the remnants of our parents' mistakes into the third and fourth generations? And will we not then hand these same sins down to three and four more generations? How do we break the cycles that obviously have been handed down since the beginning of time without walking away from all that is natural and comfortable to us?
It seems to me that none of us is expected to walk alone on this earth. We are meant to have others to accompany us on our journey. Adam and Eve had each other and their children. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Moses had wives, children, and many friends in faith walking with them. From this long line of the faithful, a family came that was given charge of Jesus as he prepared to walk his difficult path. When it was time for him to break free of the strictures of the old law, he was given companions, male and female, old and young, for his life of publicly living his faith.
Many Christians are taught that infant baptism washes away the sins of past generations. Others believe that we must each reach an age of discernment in order to freely choose our own path. When we baptize each other, we should not only be washing away the sins of the generations preceding us, we should also be pledging ourselves to walk the new walk with each other, holding each other accountable for the continuation of the way back to Infinite Unity.
I have been privileged to witness some infant baptisms in which the congregation was exhorted to protect the child in the ways that he or she should go, according to the customs of the congregants. This presupposes that all the congregants in attendance are true to the tenets of the collective faith. Instead of the child being consecrated to the congregation, it seems right that the congregation should be consecrated into the sacred trust of collectively protecting this child.
This communal consecration should, in no way, free the parents from primary protection of the child's soul, which presupposes discernment and discretion. Discernment is often impeded by deceit. Only in a community of confession and re-commitment can a person continue to trust others who profess to walk in faith.
We often give each other no option for a sense of community other than lives of dishonesty, which leads to toxic shame. Those who are ashamed will always find the company of like-minded, falsely faithful friends, and seek to gather disciples from among the vulnerable. How have we become so afraid to confess to each other, make amends, and recommit to each other and The Path back to Paradise?
It is unfortunate that we so often value ritual over righteousness, so that even when we know our leaders are corrupt, we still allow them access to the souls of our young. How can we ever hope for redemption when we are held in bondage by the persecutors and pettiness of our parents?
Does one's own inability to follow a faithful path justify suicide as a protection against the corruption of the innocent? And what of war? Are we justified in the killing of those who seek to lead our children away from The Almighty?
Does not the commandment to honor one's father and mother presuppose that the parents are honoring The Almighty? At what age are we not only free, but duty bound, to seek our own paths, even if it means a break with the faith of our fathers and mothers?
But, can we ever completely break the bonds of the "sins of the father?" How far can we actually get from our birth and upbringing? It seems that in times of stress, the natural tendency is to revert back to that which comes naturally. Genetic predisposition, combined with our upbringing, is what is natural to us.
I know that the Judeo-Christian message is one of redemption and starting fresh by walking with others on the Path back to Paradise. But can this actually be achieved in our lifetimes, or are we destined to carry the remnants of our parents' mistakes into the third and fourth generations? And will we not then hand these same sins down to three and four more generations? How do we break the cycles that obviously have been handed down since the beginning of time without walking away from all that is natural and comfortable to us?
It seems to me that none of us is expected to walk alone on this earth. We are meant to have others to accompany us on our journey. Adam and Eve had each other and their children. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Moses had wives, children, and many friends in faith walking with them. From this long line of the faithful, a family came that was given charge of Jesus as he prepared to walk his difficult path. When it was time for him to break free of the strictures of the old law, he was given companions, male and female, old and young, for his life of publicly living his faith.
Many Christians are taught that infant baptism washes away the sins of past generations. Others believe that we must each reach an age of discernment in order to freely choose our own path. When we baptize each other, we should not only be washing away the sins of the generations preceding us, we should also be pledging ourselves to walk the new walk with each other, holding each other accountable for the continuation of the way back to Infinite Unity.
I have been privileged to witness some infant baptisms in which the congregation was exhorted to protect the child in the ways that he or she should go, according to the customs of the congregants. This presupposes that all the congregants in attendance are true to the tenets of the collective faith. Instead of the child being consecrated to the congregation, it seems right that the congregation should be consecrated into the sacred trust of collectively protecting this child.
This communal consecration should, in no way, free the parents from primary protection of the child's soul, which presupposes discernment and discretion. Discernment is often impeded by deceit. Only in a community of confession and re-commitment can a person continue to trust others who profess to walk in faith.
We often give each other no option for a sense of community other than lives of dishonesty, which leads to toxic shame. Those who are ashamed will always find the company of like-minded, falsely faithful friends, and seek to gather disciples from among the vulnerable. How have we become so afraid to confess to each other, make amends, and recommit to each other and The Path back to Paradise?
It is unfortunate that we so often value ritual over righteousness, so that even when we know our leaders are corrupt, we still allow them access to the souls of our young. How can we ever hope for redemption when we are held in bondage by the persecutors and pettiness of our parents?
Monday, June 6, 2011
A Faithful Family
I have been pondering the message we are to take away from the account of this observant Jewish family when their son, twelve-year-old Jesus, attempted to enter manhood prematurely.
His mother said to Him, "Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously." And He said to them, "Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father's business?" But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.
Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. Luke 2:48-52
I think it is important that we see that it was the mother of Jesus that reprimanded him, in solidarity with Jesus' father. Does Jesus' submission to her will not indicate that a young man is still to submit to the teaching of his mother? I can find no reference to Jesus indicating that women had no authority to teach men. I think it's also important to realize that Jesus' parents were submitting to the authority of their spiritual community, to which Jesus returned with his mother and father.
Even though Jesus was obviously a learned young man, we don't see him in a leadership role until he is in his thirties. Did Jesus spent the intervening years in scholarly study, along with his submission to the leadership of his parents? In faithful families, is this the model that is to be followed? Are our future leaders to submit to the authority of their spiritual parents while they are amassing the knowledge and wisdom that will, one day, become the authority to lead?
Are we, as parents, taking our roles as spiritual leaders seriously enough? Do we go after our children with a united front when they seek to join the ranks of the leaders before they are ready? Do we teach them by our examples how to live the lives that our faith demands of us? Or, do we tire of the rigors of our responsibility and leave them to the wiles of those who would allow them to prematurely carry an adult load?
How do we know when they are ready to be let go?
His mother said to Him, "Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously." And He said to them, "Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father's business?" But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.
Then He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them, but His mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. Luke 2:48-52
I think it is important that we see that it was the mother of Jesus that reprimanded him, in solidarity with Jesus' father. Does Jesus' submission to her will not indicate that a young man is still to submit to the teaching of his mother? I can find no reference to Jesus indicating that women had no authority to teach men. I think it's also important to realize that Jesus' parents were submitting to the authority of their spiritual community, to which Jesus returned with his mother and father.
Even though Jesus was obviously a learned young man, we don't see him in a leadership role until he is in his thirties. Did Jesus spent the intervening years in scholarly study, along with his submission to the leadership of his parents? In faithful families, is this the model that is to be followed? Are our future leaders to submit to the authority of their spiritual parents while they are amassing the knowledge and wisdom that will, one day, become the authority to lead?
Are we, as parents, taking our roles as spiritual leaders seriously enough? Do we go after our children with a united front when they seek to join the ranks of the leaders before they are ready? Do we teach them by our examples how to live the lives that our faith demands of us? Or, do we tire of the rigors of our responsibility and leave them to the wiles of those who would allow them to prematurely carry an adult load?
How do we know when they are ready to be let go?
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