Saturday, December 15, 2012

This Little Light

Always remember that the light of a person's life, no matter how short that life, burns forever in the souls of all that were touched by that person. We should never seek "closure" on memories of our beloveds; our memories are their eternal light that we will pass on to others. Even children that die before birth, when joyfully anticipated, create an eternal spark in the parents that will never be extinguished.

I believe that the tragedy in our civilization is the rush to put aside pain because it makes those seeing it feel helpless in its face. How often do we tell people to simply "go on" with their grief instead of holding them in our arms while they weep?

When my mother-in-law was dying, nobody would admit we were losing her physical self. All the platitudes in the world about her being in a better place when she died did nothing to fill the empty spots where her large loving arms had enfolded me, where her great laughter had filled my ears, where my eyes had connected with her huge heart. I even missed the smell of her when she woke up to go to work.

How much greater the pain must be when we lose a person who was once actually a part of our own bodies.These are the physical wounds that nobody seems to see or feel. Our arms, eyes, noses, and ears are hurting. Only our memories can salve the pain.

When I'm walking in my garden of memories, I can feel, taste, touch, hear, and see my loved ones. The greatest thing a friend can do when I'm in grief is to walk through my memories with me, no matter how many times I revisit the same site. How lonely it is to forever walk in one's memories alone.

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