Monday, February 25, 2013

Blessings of My Baby Sister

It all boils down to what do we want the most, approval of others or approval of ourselves. I know a great many people who never ask themselves about their own priorities, and many who act as if all their desires are "god" ordained to be filled immediately by others. I like to live with a balance of self and other's approval; it's a good yardstick for measuring my balance with the rest of creation.

It is true that I've not always been discriminating enough in choosing those with whom I want to commune; there are many who will attempt to bring me down no matter how hard I try to share insights with them. A friend of mine who is into Buddhism says that we simply need to know what the boundaries are for our own "gardens."

A couple of years ago, when we were gardening with Mountain Mama, another family decided to plant their own plot next to ours. They contended that weeds were good for the soil surrounding their vegetable plants. They refused to use insecticidal sprays or weed their plot. They also refused to plant in rows with space for tilling. Mountain Mama contends that they had a very poor yield, but we were too busy our plot to do a comparison. I do know that their decisions made our gardening more difficult.

For years, I had not heard about tending our own gardens. I allowed others to enter our home and lives without laying down rules for sharing space in our hearts or homes. The weeds grew so strong that they overshadowed our relationship, threatening to suck the life out of all we had so long worked to attain. I had to ask myself what is the order of my priorities and the boundaries of my spiritual and emotional garden?

Once I realized that my children and the children of my siblings were all well into adulthood, and that I could no longer guide their growth, I could see that my garden was my relationship with myself and my husband. I have taken much time to feed both of our spirits without inviting in those who would suck us dry. We are still willing to share our Sacred Spirits with others, but only if we are not expected to allow the weeds of others to encroach upon our garden.

I am still working through the guilt of feeling selfish for self-preservation without the justification that I must survive to bring up my babies. My writing and relationships refresh my spirit by bringing in the spirits of others to nourish the garden of my soul. I am working hard at approving of myself. With the sharing of The Sacred Spirit coming from my friends and some family, I think I may succeed in blooming.

My recent time with Mountain Mama and the last twenty-four hours with my baby sister have been a great blessing to me and my garden.

No comments:

Post a Comment