Sunday, March 11, 2012

Family Freedom

In families, can we be completely care free?
Where each of the involved parties
Let's you be you and me be me?
I can't separate love from obligation
When we share our lives resources,
We can be each other's ruination.

It has been eleven years since
Richard received a new heart.
He hides his pain from others,
And has done this from the start.
I felt that I had to shelter him;
Now I hope he will do his part.

I still feel somewhat anxious
When I have to be away,
Like a parent feels when one's child
Goes down the street to play.
I wonder when I realize this:
Do other spouses feel this way?

My grandma used to regularly say,
"Cher, give it over to God."
But don't we have some responsibility
To others, while on this earth we trod?
I grapple with where my role as spouse ends,
And how much care I owe to him as a friend.

He is not the only one that I seem to smother
I don't seem to know any kind of love,
Except the love that seeks to mother.
It is time for me to accept his reality,
He will do what's he feels is right for him;
I'm responsible only for me.


  1. You have said a lot here. In our family it was dad who smothered, I am afraid until his death, I had never grown up.
    You have said a lot in these few verses, made a lot of sense, but still where are the guidelines, I wish I knew!

  2. Your Grandma had it right, "Give it over to God." In the end it works out better. Now I love being pampered and mothered but not smothered! I'm gonna live until I die - and the smothering inhibits that. Just relax a little - but keep a sharp eye out for the moment you have to call for the ambulance. There is just something in most men that makes us resist if you try to push us. Love us though, and you can lead us with a piece of sewing thread! ☺