Saturday, November 9, 2013

At Alchemy Saturday at 6:00

I want to hold Henry, but I have no right.
With my own son, I seem to have lost the fight.
I did my best to protect him from harm,
But could not fight his own deadly charm.

There are many mothers, more gentle than me;
They take care of what, in the now, they see.
Their cores of calm flow through them,
An into even the baby men.

How calm I feel as a great grandmother,
Seeing the competence of an actual mother.
She has no fear as others take him
So gently that they do not wake him.

How wonderful it must be to have a tribe,
To shelter you so your child will thrive.
I had a circle when my babies were born;
But one by one they were each gone.

As will this circle be, when I return home,
Leaving me feeling even more alone.
My computer will become my closest friend,
The one on whom I can always depend.

How I wish to be part of a tribal council,
Where grandparents enable the possible.
When all share their strengths with the tribe,
The protection of young spirits is never denied.

Where even old women dance and howl at the moon,
Knowing that grief will follow too soon.
Who will be there while I cry,
As my loved one's bodies die?

Who will laugh with me while I pray
With no words? There are none left to say.
I know that, in life, the most sacred friend
Is the one there with me at the end.

I know that many mothers here
Are put off by my three-year-old cheer.
But it is the only way that I feel safe
When in such a sacred women's place.

The other me is like God the Father;
I don't know how to be submissive daughter.
My mother feared me for training my dad,
At nine months, with the strength I had.

Only with my grandchildren am I calm;
Their parents offer, to my fears, a balm.
But even they have gone away,
Tired of what I have to say.

There is no place for a burnt out mother
Except to save our wisdom for the others.
My greatest fear about my death,
Is when it comes, all my friends will have left

Even this fear has been assuaged;
An angel, here, my fear massaged.
There are those who will sing me to sleep,
When it is time for my loved ones to weep.

Until that time, I will smile upon young parents
Who honor the job for which they were sent.
The bringing up of a child in the way he should go
Is the greatest mission a person will ever know.

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