Me In Eternity

The bliss of ignorance, I wished I could, again, embrace;
Perhaps all the pain in my present would then be erased.
I attempted to sleep away all the painful memories;
In dreams, they kept returning, like pain of a chronic disease.

In running from hurt, my demons' strengths increased.
I accepted pain with pleasure, and my running ceased.
I turned and faced the truths of my troubled life,
Not realizing, in my own rebirth, I'd serve as midwife.

I finally stopped running from facing all that I know;
Though remaining alone in my past, causes the pain to grow.
I now accept pain and pleasure as two sides of a coin.
The pain slows me down; the pleasure keeps me going.

I will not seek pain as a cleansing tonic for the soul;
Neither will I feel that only pleasure makes me whole.
I will walk with both of them, as friends on my journey;
Both pain and my pleasure made, and make, me fully me.

I do not believe in karma that continues punishing
Each of us until we're only, in eternal bliss, living.
I do believe all the pain and pleasure that I share
Will continue in the lives of all who, for me, cared.

This is why I attempted to keep, to myself, my pain,
Wanting only pleasant memories of my life to remain.
I have come to understand that those who see my soul
Have always shared in the pain that makes truly me whole.

There is no way that I can ever make amends to them;
They don't expect me to, as they are more than friends.
They are my neighbors, my church, my true family
Those with whom I share The Sacred Spirit in eternity.