Monday, May 26, 2014

Favorite Photograph

I have a favorite photograph of my toddler son and his first female friend, in the kitchen of my first family home. She is squatting on the floor, hysterically crying, while he looks on with that look dogs give of, "What the heck is happening here?" This happened when they were both less than two years old, so it cannot have been training, only instinct. I see this as the perfect picture of the communication tactics of men and women.

Neither child had much hair, and the little girl's hair grew out red. I don't know that her hysteria was an omen of her hair being red, but I do know that her passion in life didn't diminish as she matured. Neither did my son's sense of wonder about what makes women tick.

My son complains about the favoritism I showed his older sister. It wasn't favoritism; it was simply something that came with our both being females. How could he understand menstrual cramps and mood swings accompanying menstruation, when he would never be inflicted with either of them? This was just as I understood that, when he reached puberty, I could never teach him how to act as a moral man. He went to live in his father's man cave.

As a family man, my son has made a married friend to whose home he can escape when he needs a place of safety and solace from his female. I hope, for the sake of both families, the two friends women's cycles never synchronize. He has also created an outdoor substitute for a "man cave," as his home is small and he enjoys the luxury of living in the deep south of the USA. His wife and her friends can have the house; the men will be out in an area with greater space.

I will never understand the need of men to escape into their own shells after confrontation by their females, but I do know that this instinct seems to be universal. How many hunting parties would never have been organized if it hadn't been for the need of men to have space to absorb and organize what their women expected of them? When men were confused, the family was fed.

The challenge in our modern world seems to be how to create prosperity without confusion and accompanying conflict. We must create areas where males can step away while they absorb and organize what others are meaning with their words. Only then can we hope to have a fully human family of peace on our earth. If churches/temples/mosques don't offer these areas, what real purpose do they serve on our earth?

Humans, including men, have abilities to reason that are not available to dogs or wolves. Why are we still acting as if we have no choice but to obey our animal instincts? When religions promote reason over worship of outdated idols, perhaps we'll succeed at exceeding our own dogs' abilities.

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