Couples, Kids, and Community

One of the hardest things in life is to figure out where we fit into the wholeness of creation. Do we have an internal sense of what is life-affirming and what is taking some of the growth energy away from the rest of what is created? Are some of us incapable of feeling empathy even at birth? When we think about the "sins" of the father being passed down to future generations, are we really talking about the chemical imbalances that are either part of our genetic code or part of what chemicals wash over our brains both before and after we are born? After all, the womb is the environment of the fetus, and all environmental influences affect our brain chemistry. This, in turn, affects our emotional responses and behaviors.

In animal husbandry, it used to be accepted that contented mothers produced healthier offspring. We have now industrialized all of the process of creation, down to creating humans in sterile environments, outside of the bonds of relationship even to the two people contributing their genetic material. We certainly don't give due consideration to the need for a nurturing network to help the mother and baby through the vulnerable times of maternity and child rearing.

Not everyone lives next door to the elders in their birth family. I thought that churches were places where we would be accountable to others of our faith network, but this has not been my experience with most church groups. I find that in churches there is more competition for who is holiest than there is a baring of souls to create cooperation.Why is it that there are more people all over America at Bible studies, marching at morality rallies, and sitting at Divine adoration than there are sitting in living rooms counseling couples and cuddling crying babies?

We leave each family unit to fend for themselves, without assistance from the elders who have time, experience, and wisdom to contribute. We seem to have less sense about these things than other mammals. Even wolves and elephants know that it takes more than two to keep a mother and her young from predators.

Stolen Souls

My soul was stolen from me;
I'm working to set it free.
When I was a child the good
Was replaced by religion's shoulds.

A newborn child is without sin;
It is worldliness that lets evil in,
When we punish instead of teach
Rather than practice, we preach.

Survival is the reason we cry;
Without compassion we would die.
But there are those in power who see
Pain as an evil from which to be free.

This may be because they don't know
That pain is the way that we grow.
It is not to be inflicted by others,
But absorbed by our sisters and brothers.

This pain, turned to passion, can find
The Spirit that transcends the mind,
And lights the path to world peace
For the most and for the very least.

Singing for the Spirit

The Church long stopped speaking to the sacred in me;
More than anything, I've long for them to set my soul free.
I have finally realized that this dream is not to be.

I've missed and mourned the rituals of my youth,
But I fell that they stood in the way of the truth,
And to find it, I have to set my soul loose.

It is time to stop waiting for The Church to make amends,
As I begin to gather with my faithful friends,
And share what has been, to our spirits' sails, the winds.

There have been many manifestations of the sacred in my life,
And so many shared their holiness in my worst times of strife;
To none of their beliefs, am I ready to take the knife.

Every bit of creation has a part - every breath, every seed,
But humans have designed ways to pervert this with our greed.
Do we really think there's not enough to fill all our need?

I want to hear the tales of how individual souls sing,
And these varied voices, to Sacred Scripture bring;
Only then will the bells of The Holiest Spirit ring.

All the universe, we are taught, has one beginning,
And the world of matter has no actual ending;
All energy will ultimately receive a final blending.

So, back to The Genesis all Creation will go.
How it will all be made right, is not ours to know,
Until, back to the Alpha and Omega, all of us go.

Let's put our bonds of individualism onto the pyre.
It is only with many varied voices in the choir
That we get the Celestial Sounds that we so admire.

We were meant to be part of a Universal Plan,
But we limit our dreams by the limits of man.
This has kept us from peace since human life began.

Most of us follow the loud and the strong,
Never imagining that they could be wrong.
It is not too late to heed different songs.

So sing out every child, every woman, man, and beast;
It is time to hear from the ones we've heard least.
Surely, their small voices will not hatred increase.

The strongest of minerals have been tempered by flame,
And by other stressors that go by many names.
Perhaps, out of this too, The Spirit's strength, we'll reclaim.

Managing the Mundane

Some days we may find we can't control much,
But we can manage the mundane, like laundry and such.
This is the joy of channeling emotion into tasks:
In accomplishment of little things, we can then bask.

When the anxiety threatens to take the helm,
Automatic actions take us to a different realm.
This is the joy of having competency
In some things that have become parts of you and me.

Some, jog, some garden, some clean, some cook,
Some lose themselves in the pages of a book.
Or we can sit down, and write a story
Of everyday examples of strife and glory.

Our Holy Spirits are always in flight,
Looking for a peaceful place on which to light.
As from fear, we set our minds and souls free,
The better parts of ourselves, we'll be able to see.

Powerful Passions

We are given powerful passions for a reason. I like to believe it's a mark of a good dose of the Holy Spirit, but we are often not taught how to channel these passions in a productive manner, or we are told to push down our feelings. This passion may then turn outward as rage, or inward as depression or anxiety, or any manner of other destructive counterfeits.

I'm from a family of screaming meanies. When we're not being loud, we're otherwise obnoxious with sarcasm, eye rolling, and other forms of bullying behavior. The only alternative to joining in the madness that I have found, is to escape. This can be done by simply avoiding groups of angry people, drinking myself into a stupor, or drugging myself or others around me. As a mother and wife, it was very important that I adopt other ways of addressing my discomfort with the behaviors of others.

It's very difficult not to fall back into the familiar behavior that was part of my formation as a person. As an adult, I like to believe that I can choose which behaviors I incorporate into my actions. This is easier said than done, especially when I'm with people from my past.

Rage, like any other addiction is difficult to overcome. It is also difficult to avoid at my family functions. It seems that the only way to stop the flaming arrows from flying is to scream the loudest or the longest, or to destroy with ridicule the person who has the floor. Is sarcasm aimed at those who seek to destroy the spirits of the humble or the innocent a sin?

Don't get me wrong, I don't enjoy the endless "Pollyannas in Paradise" approach. Where there are problems, we need to channel our passions into possible solutions. Any baby can scream about what hurts, but we adult humans should be able to be a bit more reasonable and proactive than that.

I have found that so much of today's society is acting enraged about almost everything; that it's becoming increasingly difficult to stay away from rage. Our society has been drinking and drugging ourselves, but this seems to only put off the inevitable. Or we pretend that we are powerless to do anything significant to affect change. We hide behind the bullies, and nothing really changes.

For many years I've said this prayer every day that I can remember "Holy Spirit, take my tongue". It seems to help me to think before I speak, and often no words I can say will be heard. Unfortunately, remaining silent can really raise my blood pressure. I guess I'll have to pray harder, or scream louder.

Questioning Those in Positions of Power

What a loss it is for so many to have been abused by their church, their parents and others in positions of power! This, and the presentation of God as a vindictive super-human who holds us hostage has actually given many a distrust of the term "God". These people are often also afraid of accepting assistance, believing that vulnerability automatically leads to abuse.

In my lifetime, the western church has changed the accepted face of God to a Loving Being who wants all to come home. This is not the historic interpretation of the involvement of The Almighty, who sought to smite all who made mistakes.

There must be sacred stories other than those we have seen in the Bible. There must be manifestations of The Infinite Almighty that we have not heard about from those in positions of power. Certainly there are alternative interpretations of sacred scripture.

A young woman I know who had very little religious training, upon reading Genesis for the first time as a young adult, declared that she thought many people had the Creation story wrong. She thought that God didn't banish Adam and Eve, but that God told them what they were doing wasn't allowed in the Garden of Eden. Her interpretation is that they then chose to leave, and that God, like the loving, hurting, and hopeful parent of a wayward teenager, continues to stand at the gate with open arms believing that they will one day return. I like to believe she saw this in the way she was parented, and that became her manifestation of The Almighty.

When we start with this premise, the whole story of humanity takes on a different light. Our willful desire for independence becomes the villain that leads us to continue making the same mistakes in every generation. Humankind blames much on God, as two-year-olds and teenagers blame their parents who are waiting in the wings to provide support when asked. Maybe we're doing these destructive things to ourselves and others. If we want help, all we have to do is humble ourselves enough to ask.

The Pain of Losing a Partner with Final Plea

Who is there to hold our hands and let us wail in pain?
Who is there to pick us up until we can walk again?
Who will manage our friends in their attempts to take over?
Who will tell the world at large to take our grief a little slower?

We cannot all get over it when we have lost our mates,
In a true partnership, where there are so many states
Of our live's necessities, in which we shared the load.
How can we function alone when we, on two axles, rode?

If only we had wailing walls where we could place requests
For one to take the place of our mates in decisions about what is best,
For the future which we must continue to face without half of ourselves,
For a replacement for the arms that, by once, we were so tenderly held.

I was blessed by reprieves when I thought my loves would die;
I have often thanked My Maker, no matter the reason why.
I do know how desperately we hunger for human touch
When faced with losing a part of ourselves that we have loved so much.

How is it that we can continue to go on with our own lives
Without the earthly unity for which each of us strives?
When we've had it and lost it, how can we not long
For an end to our earthly brokenness. How can this be wrong?

Even those who believe that God waits for their return,
For the physical presence of their loved ones still burn.
Shouldn't there be a way for us to embrace Eternity
Without having to feel the pain of losing a part of me?

Some say we should give it to God;
Some say Jesus is the way.
But didn't Our Maker give us hands
To do something other than pray?