When our parents are too soon taken,
We're not able to walk away,
Deciding which of their values should go
And which values we wish would stay.
We forget what they were really like
In both their goodness and their bad.
We begin to imagine they had lives
That our parents never really had.
This process works well for some,
Until they encounter others
Who had their own experiences
With our fathers and our mothers.
Suddenly we are squarely faced
With feelings long thought dead.
Encounters with people we love,
We may then begin to dread.
How are we to mend the wounds
When they are carried on in family?
Will we ever, from our painful pasts,
Ever really be set free?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Sacred Sea and Sky
Earth and sky are one on the water, reflecting each other's glory;
Here, I can feel the fluidity of the eternal creation story.
Fish is food for families; sunlight turns water into rain;
All that is existing in one form waits to be created again.
People in times of old paused to appreciate creation,
But we have allowed greed to destroy the sacred in all nations.
Our places of worship are palaces honoring our possessions,
Rather than our fields and forests, where we harvest Nature's blessings.
What we are destroying in our hurry to, human control, obtain
Is not within our corporate power to restore to balance again.
We're creating our own Armageddon with our illusion of ownership,
Forgetting that our individual lives are, on the radar of eternity, a blip.
I remember, as a child, we would seek a spreading tree's shade,
For the cool comfort found in these leafy glades.
We are now so far removed from the feelings of nature
That we have lost our compassion for the lesser creatures.
Even our animals are tamed to the point of uselessness;
We've forgotten the purpose for which each being exists.
All is for our entertainment rather than for the circle of life;
We don't allow that growth and balance are obtained by strife.
We see, but we don't study, the creatures as we ride by
On every motorized vehicle beneath our polluted sky.
We enclose our waste in products that keep them from becoming
The fuel upon which Nature has kept all creation running.
We use our knowledge of Nature to pervert the natural laws,
Never acknowledging the destruction of balance that we cause.
We must slow down and stop the seeking of more and greater thrills
Stop pretending that we can make all of Nature bow to our human wills.
Take moments in our day to simply see and marvel
At the power and beauty with which our world is full.
Allow our minds to rest upon our many natural blessings,
And hear the great redemption stories that all creation sings.
Here, I can feel the fluidity of the eternal creation story.
Fish is food for families; sunlight turns water into rain;
All that is existing in one form waits to be created again.
People in times of old paused to appreciate creation,
But we have allowed greed to destroy the sacred in all nations.
Our places of worship are palaces honoring our possessions,
Rather than our fields and forests, where we harvest Nature's blessings.
What we are destroying in our hurry to, human control, obtain
Is not within our corporate power to restore to balance again.
We're creating our own Armageddon with our illusion of ownership,
Forgetting that our individual lives are, on the radar of eternity, a blip.
I remember, as a child, we would seek a spreading tree's shade,
For the cool comfort found in these leafy glades.
We are now so far removed from the feelings of nature
That we have lost our compassion for the lesser creatures.
Even our animals are tamed to the point of uselessness;
We've forgotten the purpose for which each being exists.
All is for our entertainment rather than for the circle of life;
We don't allow that growth and balance are obtained by strife.
We see, but we don't study, the creatures as we ride by
On every motorized vehicle beneath our polluted sky.
We enclose our waste in products that keep them from becoming
The fuel upon which Nature has kept all creation running.
We use our knowledge of Nature to pervert the natural laws,
Never acknowledging the destruction of balance that we cause.
We must slow down and stop the seeking of more and greater thrills
Stop pretending that we can make all of Nature bow to our human wills.
Take moments in our day to simply see and marvel
At the power and beauty with which our world is full.
Allow our minds to rest upon our many natural blessings,
And hear the great redemption stories that all creation sings.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Defining the Duties of the Day
What are a husband and wife's duties toward one another in a world where marriages may last over fifty years? What constitutes adultery; is stronger emotional or intellectual attachment, accompanied by time spent in communion, to someone other than one's spouse the same as physical attachment?
If marriage is a partnership, and families are communities, doesn't everything that affects one affect the whole family? When one community member is marginalized, doesn't that weaken the whole community? Where is one's fealty to one's family of origin superseded by one's responsibility to the family of one's making? Why don't we have sacred scriptures that address the issues of families in the modern age when we may live into our nineties and beyond?
How do we apply the Ten Commandments, written for a nomadic people fleeing persecution and a Bible that has very little to say about marriage, child rearing, and family life, to our long lives in the America of today?
If marriage is a partnership, and families are communities, doesn't everything that affects one affect the whole family? When one community member is marginalized, doesn't that weaken the whole community? Where is one's fealty to one's family of origin superseded by one's responsibility to the family of one's making? Why don't we have sacred scriptures that address the issues of families in the modern age when we may live into our nineties and beyond?
How do we apply the Ten Commandments, written for a nomadic people fleeing persecution and a Bible that has very little to say about marriage, child rearing, and family life, to our long lives in the America of today?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Do I Dishonor My Mother?
When I turned from my mother, I meant no disrespect, though she read my actions as such. I turned away in terror for her and for her family that was being consumed by the manipulations of a woman with lust in her heart for our father.
My father had always been a favorite with women, even enticing our staid school principal, a nun, to dance with him at Knights of Columbus dances. We were used to him and his baby sister serenading each other with love songs duets like, "That Old Black Magic," much to the delight of their mother and their spouses. These flirtations with females carried on to his consistent compliments about the talents and beauty of his five daughters. When his girls began reaching puberty, Daddy sank into the dark night of his soul.
When Daddy rose from his bed after two years in his own valley of darkness of deep depression, there was a woman waiting to take him into her arms. She seduced him with words of wonder about his religion, pretending that she was seeking enlightenment from our family. She was a lounge singer who could help him escape into his world of romance where there were no noisy children, as she had given her small children away.
My mother was so anxious that she do nothing to keep a convert from entering the church that she turned a blind eye to what we could see was happening, but were powerless to stop.
As this woman drew our father further and further into her web, my brother and grandparents fell for her, too. My teen-aged brother welcomed the warm arms of a woman who would spend her unfulfilled lust for our father on him. My grandparents were so proud of their son's supposed spiritual conquest, that they became the woman's spiritual parents at baptism.
Our mother accepted all of this rather than fight for the faith of her family. We were her lambs, but she chose to embrace the wolf devouring us, rather than uphold the law of her religion. This was all done in the spirit of Christian kindness to those who are less than we are. What hubris this was on the parts of my parents and their parents! This woman had walked away from her own children, and now she was preying on us.
So began a parade through the family home of priestly and other perverts, drug dealers, prostitutes, and others who sought our souls. What could I do but walk away? Does this mean that I have dishonored my father and mother? How can one honor anyone who insists on dishonoring him or her self?
My father had always been a favorite with women, even enticing our staid school principal, a nun, to dance with him at Knights of Columbus dances. We were used to him and his baby sister serenading each other with love songs duets like, "That Old Black Magic," much to the delight of their mother and their spouses. These flirtations with females carried on to his consistent compliments about the talents and beauty of his five daughters. When his girls began reaching puberty, Daddy sank into the dark night of his soul.
When Daddy rose from his bed after two years in his own valley of darkness of deep depression, there was a woman waiting to take him into her arms. She seduced him with words of wonder about his religion, pretending that she was seeking enlightenment from our family. She was a lounge singer who could help him escape into his world of romance where there were no noisy children, as she had given her small children away.
My mother was so anxious that she do nothing to keep a convert from entering the church that she turned a blind eye to what we could see was happening, but were powerless to stop.
As this woman drew our father further and further into her web, my brother and grandparents fell for her, too. My teen-aged brother welcomed the warm arms of a woman who would spend her unfulfilled lust for our father on him. My grandparents were so proud of their son's supposed spiritual conquest, that they became the woman's spiritual parents at baptism.
Our mother accepted all of this rather than fight for the faith of her family. We were her lambs, but she chose to embrace the wolf devouring us, rather than uphold the law of her religion. This was all done in the spirit of Christian kindness to those who are less than we are. What hubris this was on the parts of my parents and their parents! This woman had walked away from her own children, and now she was preying on us.
So began a parade through the family home of priestly and other perverts, drug dealers, prostitutes, and others who sought our souls. What could I do but walk away? Does this mean that I have dishonored my father and mother? How can one honor anyone who insists on dishonoring him or her self?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Adolescent Anarchy and Authority
We are all adolescents until we understand that our salvation is in being fully functioning humans, each with a Divine Spark. We set up situations in our lives to test the boundaries of those who say they care for us, attempting to have them reject us so that we can feel in control. We will often escalate our destructive and subversive behaviors in an effort to sever the loving relationship, rather than continue in the pain of our own vulnerability. The community turning away from our errant actions is not always the same as rejecting us as people. The person seeking others' answers is not the same as rejection of the community.
Sometimes, the only way to grow is to walk away. In healthy communities, this is seen as a way to obtain new strengths to bring back to the fold. In unhealthy communities, this is seen as a rejection of the whole, and the community will sever the relationship with us. Where there is mutual vulnerability, trust, and respect, there is hope for healing and wholeness.
Whether we like it or not, we are all dependent on others for different parts of ourselves to reach their fullness. In the old models of relationships, we were taught that the authority figures have no need for the strengths of those over whom they have authority. We were also taught that the oldest child is the heir to whom all the family strengths and responsibilities are passed, and that the job of the oldest is to equitably apportion the benefits of the family. This left all in the community emotionally and relationally crippled.
All real authority is actually derived from the willingness of the governed to accept leadership, and the leadership's willingness and ability to teach by example and support of the learning process. Anarchy ensues when authority is divided against itself, which causes collapse of community. The lack of growth when only one type of strength is honored causes stagnation, which is a form of slow death.
In all of creation, there is a strength that can only come from hybridization. The strength of the community is in the sum of its parts. In families, as in all communities, the strengths and weaknesses of all must be recognized and honored. Until we are all willing to be strong, vulnerable, and fair, alternating absolute authority and anarchy seems to be the scene that plays out since Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve walked away from a partnership with Divinity. Why are we still doing the same? What part of being made in the image and likeness of The Divine are we still not understanding?
How sad it is when absolute authority, destruction, and subversion are the only individual strengths a society is willing to recognize or exercise!
Sometimes, the only way to grow is to walk away. In healthy communities, this is seen as a way to obtain new strengths to bring back to the fold. In unhealthy communities, this is seen as a rejection of the whole, and the community will sever the relationship with us. Where there is mutual vulnerability, trust, and respect, there is hope for healing and wholeness.
Whether we like it or not, we are all dependent on others for different parts of ourselves to reach their fullness. In the old models of relationships, we were taught that the authority figures have no need for the strengths of those over whom they have authority. We were also taught that the oldest child is the heir to whom all the family strengths and responsibilities are passed, and that the job of the oldest is to equitably apportion the benefits of the family. This left all in the community emotionally and relationally crippled.
All real authority is actually derived from the willingness of the governed to accept leadership, and the leadership's willingness and ability to teach by example and support of the learning process. Anarchy ensues when authority is divided against itself, which causes collapse of community. The lack of growth when only one type of strength is honored causes stagnation, which is a form of slow death.
In all of creation, there is a strength that can only come from hybridization. The strength of the community is in the sum of its parts. In families, as in all communities, the strengths and weaknesses of all must be recognized and honored. Until we are all willing to be strong, vulnerable, and fair, alternating absolute authority and anarchy seems to be the scene that plays out since Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve walked away from a partnership with Divinity. Why are we still doing the same? What part of being made in the image and likeness of The Divine are we still not understanding?
How sad it is when absolute authority, destruction, and subversion are the only individual strengths a society is willing to recognize or exercise!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Relay Race of Life
I am in awe of The Almighty, but I don't feel afraid.
I know that there are others helping me handle
The path to Eternity that has been laid.
I'm only one runner in the relay race of life.
I can hand the baton over to another
When I've handled my share of strife.
There were many runners who came before me,
They ran a straighter and truer path,
And were faster than I could ever be.
It was my job to take the baton given
And run to the best of my ability
Whether or not I make it to Heaven.
But, I take comfort in firmly believing
We are all part of the same creation;
Some seeds of salvation are what I'm leaving.
I know that there are others helping me handle
The path to Eternity that has been laid.
I'm only one runner in the relay race of life.
I can hand the baton over to another
When I've handled my share of strife.
There were many runners who came before me,
They ran a straighter and truer path,
And were faster than I could ever be.
It was my job to take the baton given
And run to the best of my ability
Whether or not I make it to Heaven.
But, I take comfort in firmly believing
We are all part of the same creation;
Some seeds of salvation are what I'm leaving.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Fathers and Faithfulness
I know it is Father's Day in America, so I sit contemplating my father and The Father of my father's faith. My husband spends the day emulating his father while I spend the day missing mine. I'd like to have had the chance to discuss faith and fathers with him.
We were taught that God is our Father and that we were to fear Our Father and our fathers. Who can blame our dads for their forms of discipline when they were led to believe that they were to strike fear in the hearts of their wives and children in order to more closely come to their God and lead their children to salvation. Those who quaked at the thought of Dad's wrath were considered saved, and were at least spared the rod. Those who refused to bow down to the behaviors of the master were severely punished, and often banished from our own "Garden of Eden."
Leading with love and self-discipline is not what the generations after Adam and Eve understood. They firmly believed that fear was sufficient to keep people in their folds. No matter how much example there has been to the contrary, we still seem to believe that varying degrees of punishment or permissiveness are the same as parenting.
How is it that, with all our advanced ability to think and make informed decisions, we seem to be less observant of our ways of procreation and parenting than the lowest animals. Like other animals, before we learn words, we observe and mimic behaviors. So many babies are exposed to their parents' wrath before they can even walk. Is it any wonder that we humans continue to act on fear, as animals that have only two modes of survival: fight and flight?
Maybe it's time that we revisit maternal love that conceives, gestates, and bonds in order to mold an image of what is experienced. In order to be faithful as a father, one must truly meld with the mother before producing progeny. And then they must lead with love and right living. Fear doesn't foster friendship; nor does it nourish family faith. Faithfulness fosters faith.
We were taught that God is our Father and that we were to fear Our Father and our fathers. Who can blame our dads for their forms of discipline when they were led to believe that they were to strike fear in the hearts of their wives and children in order to more closely come to their God and lead their children to salvation. Those who quaked at the thought of Dad's wrath were considered saved, and were at least spared the rod. Those who refused to bow down to the behaviors of the master were severely punished, and often banished from our own "Garden of Eden."
Leading with love and self-discipline is not what the generations after Adam and Eve understood. They firmly believed that fear was sufficient to keep people in their folds. No matter how much example there has been to the contrary, we still seem to believe that varying degrees of punishment or permissiveness are the same as parenting.
How is it that, with all our advanced ability to think and make informed decisions, we seem to be less observant of our ways of procreation and parenting than the lowest animals. Like other animals, before we learn words, we observe and mimic behaviors. So many babies are exposed to their parents' wrath before they can even walk. Is it any wonder that we humans continue to act on fear, as animals that have only two modes of survival: fight and flight?
Maybe it's time that we revisit maternal love that conceives, gestates, and bonds in order to mold an image of what is experienced. In order to be faithful as a father, one must truly meld with the mother before producing progeny. And then they must lead with love and right living. Fear doesn't foster friendship; nor does it nourish family faith. Faithfulness fosters faith.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)